new beginnings come from an other beginnings end
by itswhatido
Summary: Going back a bit before the parents died, Darry's in college, Soda's in high school, and Mr and Mrs. Curtis are the parents everyone wished they could have. Still, the inevitable happens and life tests Darry and the gang to cruel levels. Rewrite of my other story Beginnings.
1. Chapter 1

This is a rewrite from my other story Beginnings. I am taking it back to before the parents died, and then I am also going to make somme changes to the plot. I am hoping to attract more people and to write a better story. Please let me know what you're thinking. I think this is going to be more successful

"I'm real proud of you son," Dad put his hand on my shoulder helping me straighten my tie. He was a real sentimental kinda guy. My mom always said that was what attracted her to him. He wasn't afraid of expressing his emotions. "Not many kids around here graduate, let alone get a scholarship to play ball. You're a real good role model," he wasn't crying by all means, but he had that twinkle in his eyes that made me know it was a possibility.

"Thanks dad, you know I didn't get here on my own," I smiled patting him on the back. "Oh I think your mother can take most of that credit! She's been behind the scenes all these years," he was right, my mom was always on top of everything, because my dad worked so dang hard, but he made it to most my games, and was my go to guy about everything.

"Well I'll be damned," Two-bit hollered as my dad and I walked into the living room where everyone was gathered.

"Keith, I expect you to be on your best behavior today. It's not everyday you get to celebrate you first borns accomplishments." She wasn't scolding Two-bit or even nagging him really, she wasn't really like that. She didn't really hound anyone. She probably knew there was no use in doing that. Kids around here didn't respond to ridicule because we were all so use to it.

"You look like a blueberry," Dally snickered.

"As far as blueberries go, you're a cute blueberry!" Meghan kissed my cheek. Meghan was something special for sure. She wasn't lucky to have a good home life like we had. She hung around here a lot, then we kind of started dating. We'd been going steady for about 6 months now. I wasn't all that sure she loved me any more than she loved my family, the kids included. She would go to the movies with Pony, and she pretty much introduced Sandy to Soda. She was graduating too, but her Dad ran out on her and her family after her mom got pregnant, and her mom couldn't come to graduation because she was working or something.

"If we don't leave we're going to miss it!" Pony stuck his head in from the porch. Leave it to Pony to be on top of everything. He was a goody goody that way. He hated getting in trouble or letting anyone down. He was probably more reliable than anyone else in the gang.

"Let's go then!" We all piled into my parents truck. Soda and Pony sat in the back Meghan and I sat in the back seat with Mary and my parents drove. The rest of the gang got in Two-bits car and followed us.

"Darry, I got dibs on your room," Soda said through the open window.

"I ain't gone for an other month Soda, don't be counting your chickens before they hatch," I couldn't help but laugh. I knew over my mom's dead body would she let anyone move in my room. I wasn't even going to be an hour away, I knew she'd leave it hoping I'd come home a lot.

"You'll be next Mary, this time next year it'll be you in the spot light. You know Soda, now that Darry's going off to school he's not going to have a lot of time to help you with your school work, so your going to have to work extra hard. I want to see you graduating in two years too," leave it to Dad to aggravate Soda about school every chance he got.

"Hush, you know he's been working real hard, that's all we want from any of them is to do their best, so don't you start," Mom defended him like she always did. Soda was having a real hard time in school. He almost had to take summer school, but he squeezed by and got a D off of dumb luck, or so he said. Mom was so happy she made a cake. Not dad, it wasn't that he wasn't happy, but he just didn't understand why Soda hated school the way he did. Pony was skipping a grade and moving into high school next year, and Mary. She did okay. She was passing everything, but she had failed classes before, and she had caused my parent some stress, but not as much as Soda.

"Alright, I'll see you when I walk across the stage," I leaned in through the window and kissed my moms cheek.

"You can bet your ass that you'll get the most cheers, and I bet they won't only be from us Dar. You're quite the big man on campus!" Steve climbed out of the car with Evie on his arm. I will admit that through football I had made a lot of friends. Tulsa wasn't really all that big anyhow. Being a football player helped me make friends with Socs even. Then of course I had the gang, and Tim and I go way back, and then the cheerleaders. Since I didn't do too bad in the classroom, I even had some good relationships in the classroom. Today was going to be a littler sadder than I thought. I quickly ran into some of my buddies who were all just ten different kinds of excited, so my worries faded fast.

"Can you believe it's here man," Brad fist bumped me.

"I know after all these years, can't say I believe it," I agreed, But I couldn't fight my smile.

"I don't know what I'd do if we weren't going to play together again for the next four years. Believe it or not Curtis we are living the dream life!" Brad shook my shoulders before leaving to go get his place in line. He was right. We had been talking about playing college ball since we were old enough to know what college ball was. Brad didn't need the money like I did, but he was just excited to be going to college. Not many of the guys on our team were going on to college probably 5 or 6 socs. Then a handful would go to a community college, and the rest would work at a mill. Some would just never graduate, after 4 years your can't play football anymore, and at that point most of them would just drop out Not many wanted to go on to college. It probably wasn't that they didn't want to, it was that they weren't expected to.

The next thing I knew it was my turn to get up and give my speech. I had day dreamed through the other speeches. Pony and I had that in common, we could think about nothing for hours.

"If I have learned anything through out my time in Will Rogers is that you can't get through it alone. You need teachers to give you knowledge, parents to give you guidance, friends to share the success with, a team to challenge you, a coach to mentor you, and you need brothers to keep you on your toes. I have the honor of taking what I learned down the road with me to continue living my dream and to grow into the person my parents always told me I should be, and I did not get to do this alone. We are a community, we are a family, and even at the end of today and we all go our separate ways, we must never forget the unity we established over the last four years, and we should use it as fuel for the rest of our lives. Parents, teachers, teammates, friends of the Class of 1957, I tip my hat to you for getting each of us here. Every praise, words of encouragement, lecture, and even the occasional kick in the seat is what made this possible, so we all thank you," I looked up to my family. I saw my mom crying, my dad was beaming, Pony looked so inspired, Soda and Steve were checking out the ladies, and the rest of the gang were all watching me like they were placing bets if I was going to puke or pass out. I really meant them, in my speech. Because those ten people had been there through it all.

The principal patted my back and I went and took my place back in line. We all then lined up and got our diploma. I was 7th in line being early in the alphabet. It felt like the principal held my hand for a while, "it's been a rare pleasure," he told me smiling real big. He was a good man. Steve kept his promise. I heard Steve and Two-bit especially, but there was a roar of applause while I walked across the stage. I couldn't stop smiling.

My dad pulled me into a big hug, and my mom kissed my cheek. "Congratulations Dar," Soda meant it too. Him and I hadn't been talking the way we use to since we both got girl friends, and with school being so busy towards the end of the year. But I knew everyone talking about my graduation, and Pony skipping a grade while Soda may have to repeat was causing a strain, so I was glad he look happy. Maybe he too was inspired, and we would be here in two years.

"Great speech Dar, even better than you practiced!" She kissed me real long. I wasn't even embarrassed by it. She was something else.

"You talk awfully good for a hood," Two-bit nudged me.

"Yeah, Glory Dar, giving us a bad reputation using big words like that!" Dally added in.

"Congratulation Meghan!" Pony spoke up interrupting the guys.

"Aw, thanks Pone," she hugged him as my mom patted her shoulder.

"Let's hurry home and beat your friend Dar," Mom held my hand. Mom invited my whole football team and their families over to our house, along with the gang of course. However, I knew most of them wouldn't come. A lot of the guys had plans to get out of Tulsa, others were just planning on spending the say with their families too.

Dad was on the grill and the rest of us were dispersed in the crowd.I was glad everyone was there to share the day, honestly I probably wouldn't see many of my old team mates again. After my teammates left and most of the gang left with their girls too, I sat on the steps of the porch while my parents were in the swing, "thanks guys, today was real nice."

"You bet champ," was all they said. My mom still looked at my dad the way that Meghan looked at me, and my parents had been married for 20 years.

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After Darry's graduation life didn't slow down for long. I started my new job at the DX with Steve. Darry worked on roof's with dad trying to earn a little bit extra money before school started. Mary had the same waitressing job she always had, her and Meghan worked together at the Dingo. Darry had to leave early for football training, and we were all pretty sad to see him go. We all said we were going to spend more time with him before he left, but we all just got so busy. Pony hung around him a lot at night. They would read together or talk about books. I think Pony got a little lonely because besides Johnny none of us really hung out with him, or not the same way anyhow. He was younger, and wasn't interested in girls or cars for that matter. If we all went out together he would come, but mostly he kind of did his own thing. Which wasn't really a problem. He dug drawing and writing and stuff. No one else really did, except Darry a little. So they spend a little bit of time together at night. I knew Pony was going to miss him. We all were. But it was easy to watch him got because we all knew he was happy. He was getting to go to college. That was huge. We were all so proud

"Promise me you won't work too hard," Mom was holding him in a long hug.

"I won't mom," he assured her. I didn't know if I believed him. He worked his hardest no matter what.

"Now listen to me boy," Dad held his chin as if Darry wasn't bigger than him. "This is your shot. Don't blow it, cause if you do come hell or high water your ass will be up there roofing for the rest of your life, and you deserve better than that." My father hardly ever swore, so he was really trying to get Darry's attention.

"You know I won't let you down," Darry hugged him. My dad's face softened.

"I know you won't," he agreed.

"Don't get so big you forget the little people," I told him as he pulled away from dad.

"Never," he ruffled my hair. "Pony, you make sure you keep writing, and tell me about it when I call in a few days okay?" Pony smiled like he won a nobel prize.

"You better get on the road, beat the traffic," Dad encouraged. Darry turned back to Meghan. Everyone back up and gave them some space, but Pony and I made sure to ease drop.

"Meghan," Darry started.

"I'm not going anywhere Darry." She interrupted him.

"Meghan," he said again.

"Unless you meet someone else at school, I'm right here waiting for you. I'll save up my waitressing money, and I'll come up and watch you play as much as I can." I wasn't sure how Darry felt about it, but he was smiling so I figured he was pleased.

"My familly is coming to watch me play in two weeks, you should just hitch a ride," he gave her a long kiss waved to the rest of us, and he was gone. I knew he was only a couple hours away, but I already felt different. When someone's gone the family just isn't quite the same.

Sandy came over a little bit later. I hadn't told her yet, but I loved her. Her daddy didn't like me much, and I was trying my best to play it right by him. I always took her back before curfew. I always told him where we were going, hell we hand't even had sex. Soda and Evie had sex all the time, not to mention Dally and Sylvia or Two-bit and Kathy.

"I know you miss him, but just remember you're going to see him in two-weeks. And you never know, maybe one weekend you can go and stay with him. He can show you what college is like." She sat on my lap.

"Yeah, maybe." Sandy knew that I didn't like school. She knew that no matter what my parents said I couldn't and wouldn't go to college. That's why I was so excited I got the DX job. My parents said it was going to be a distraction from school, but honestly the DX was the only chance I had at a future. My parents didn't get that, but Sandy did. She was so happy for me when I got it, she made me dinner. She was something special.

"Soda, are you really moving into Darry's room?" Pony asked me from his room.

"Nah, I was just messing with him." There was noting wrong with my room, except for it was a mess. My mom use to hassle me about it, but she gave up on that.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A parent measures their success off of the success of their kids. So, I was a pretty proud mamma when Darry called saying his first day of classes went well. Mary, Soda and Pony start back school today. Pony was nervous last night when he went to bed. I asked his father to talk to Soda to encourage him to help Pony out. Although Pony and Soda got along, sometimes Soda didn't include Pony, and although Pony would never say anything I knew it upset him. He was nervous. I knew Mary would watch out for him, she had a soft spot for Pony, but Mary wasn't really known to have the best friends.

"Morning Pony," I smiled as he came downstairs.

"You sure you don't want me to trim you hair a bit before you leave son, it's awfully long ain't it?" His dad was mostly playing with him, he knew Pony like it long and greased. Boys will be boys.

"Dad," Pony whined.

"Oh hush, there will be no bickering at this hour!" I laughed as Mary walked in the kitchen. I exchanged a look to my husband hoping he wouldn't start nagging on her too.

"Myra," he started, that was his nick name for her. "You don't need all that make up you have your mamma's face, and it is beautiful the way it is," he kissed me, and of course I smiled. Every woman likes it when their husband calls them beautiful, but I understood why Mary rolled her eyes.

"Honey, I think you look real nice, Franklin will be sure to notice," I gave her arm a squeeze.

"It's Franki Ma," she corrected me the way she always did. "He's picking me up for school, so please dad, be nice to him!" She kissed his cheek the way she always did. Mary knew how to manipulate her dad. I always worried about Mary, because she was quiet, and we never really knew what she was up to. Plus, she was friends with Angela Shepard who had a reputation. They had been friends grade school, so I knew there was no real chance of them growing apart anymore. I always wished she would just become with Steve and Two-bit and their girl friends, but they all hardly even crossed paths. Darry and Meghan had gone out with Mary and Franki a few times, but not as much as Steve, Evie, Soda and Sandy had. I didn't know much about Franki other than he's a Brumbly so most of 'the gang' doesn't like him. Mary couldn't care less what they thought.

Now Sandy she was real good for Soda. She was smart and honest. She was a good girl with good intentions. She was going to go somewhere, probably be a nurse like her mamma. I was real happy when she brought her home. She wasn't high maintenance like Evie was.

I worried about Darry staying together with Meghan, because a part of me hoped he'd never come back to Tulsa. Of course I'd want him to live close, but I think it would do him well to go out into the world. I told Darrel Sr. that I thought he would be a real good lawyer the way he never backs down from a fight, but he told me he had to figure all that out on his own. If we told him he would just do the opposite.

Soda came downstairs wearing the same clothes I was pretty sure he wore the other day, but I figured there was no use in arguing. "Morning Mr. and Mrs Curtis Franki said from outside the screen porch.

"Come on in son!" Darrel Sr. Said from his chair drinking his coffee.

"Hey, guys," Franki gave them a wave, and they both grunted responses, neither were morning people. Soda was usually better than this, but I knew he was dreading school.

"We better get going," Franki kissed Mary's hand walking toward the door.

"Isn't she our ride?" Pony asked with a mouth full of eggs.

"He's right Mary, now that Darry's gone they're your responsibility," Darrel Sr. didn't look up from the paper. I stopped reading the paper with all the talk of a possible war. I didn't want to start my day thinking about it, and I certainly didn't want to end my day thinking about it.

"I have to work after school, can they walk home, or mom can you pick them up?" Mary turned and face me.

"Mary we talked about you and working,and we said school and family comes first." Darrel Sr. said before I could step in and say that I could pick them up.

"How come she can work during the week and I can only work weekends?" Soda spoke up.

"Soda, I'm older! I've had this job since I was 15!" Mary let go of Franki's hand.

"She makes better grades than you," Pony spoke for the first time this morning.

"Stay out of this Pony," Soda and Mary said at the same time.

"I can drive the kids, I can take them home after I drop Mary off, no problem," I knew Franki meant well, but Soda and Pony weren't really for that.

"That will just have to do for today, we'll discuss this tonight, ya'll go ahead now." I smiled at the eye roll Soda gave Pony.

"Don't call them kids Frank, they can't stand that!" She whispered to him, but I heard him. The grin he gave her gave me the feeling that he did it on purpose.

"Soda come here for a second would you please," I asked him as everyone else left.

"Yeah Ma?" He asked picking up his stuff.

"School is only as bad as you make it baby, so please promise me you will at least try to enjoy yourself. You deserve to be happy." I held his cheeks with my hands really hoping my words were sinking in.

"Yeah, I'll try," he gave me a small smile pulling away.

"Mary Ann, you are coddling him. He needs to learn how to suck it up and do what you don't want to do!" Darrel Sr. Grumbled putting his glass in the sink before heading off to work.

"I just don't have to have to fight with him for the next couple years like we had to last year Darry. School just isn't his thing!" I told him like I had many of times.

"Honey, I don't want that either, but I don't want him working a job he hates because he didn't get an education." I knew he was implying he hated his job roofing. He never plainly said it, but you could tell it was implied.

"I know, we're just going to have to get creative with that one," I handed him his lunch as he kissed me before leaving like the rest of them did.

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"Soda, I didn't mean that you weren't smart. That's not why I work more than you." Mary turned in her seat and looked at him as we pulled out of the drive way.

"Yeah, but you are." Soda snapped at her. Soda was a real pain in the ass sometimes. More so than Pony, because at least Pony didn't talk. But every time Soda spoke it was useless. I only offered to drive the little trolls because I wanted to look good in front of her father. Her parents had real strict dating rules, and she's always been real serious about sticking to them. So we hardly even made it to second base. But I figured if I held my cards right we'd get enough alone time that we'd be able to go farther. A buddy of mine dated her for 2 months and he never made it all the way. She ended up dumping him, so I made it a personal goal of mine to make it all the way with her on my terms.

"So, I make a little better grades than you, so what? What does that prove, that I know how to say what the teachers want to hear.I can't apply it like you do at the DX, so quit feeling sorry for yourself and go find Sandy." Mary turned back around. I gave her an annoyed look but, she ignored me.

"Want me to help you find Johnny?" God forbid is Mary didn't start fussing over Pony now.

"No, I think I can manage," Pony got out running after Soda.

"Okay mom, your kids are fine, can you pay me a little attention?" I put my had on her thigh.

She raised her eye brows and leaned in to kiss me, "That's more like it!" I slid my hand in between her legs and she started to tense up. They all do at first.

"Franki not here, huh," She whispered pulling away.

"Of course, only the best for you baby. What about this weekend? I know a place, can you tell your mom your staying at Angela's?" I kept kissing her hoping she would answer with out thinking.

"I don't know baby, we'll have to see. I'm working," she picked up her stuff and got out of my car.

"I'd make it worth your while I can tell you that!" I followed her.

"Oh, I believe you. I'd rather just go to a drive in, and do it there, I don't think I can just lie to my parents like that, ya know?" By it I wondered if she meant sex? Because if she was willing to do it in my car I was fine with that. Most broads aren't though, so I would have to shred lightly in this new territory.

"I just want to give you the best," I sucked up to her. She was dumb enough to buy it too."Thanks baby," she smiled.

"Check and mate," I thought to myself.

They always started school on a Thursday, giving us only two days for the first week. Probably because they didn't want to scare us away by starting too soon. So, I only had to wait two days until mine and Mary's night. I had been doing a lot of work for her and her family, it better be worth it.

Mary and I didn't have any classes together, I told her that was an accident and the school must have messed up my schedule, but I actually did that on purpose, because after we do the deed and get real good at it, we'll break up and I just don't want to look at yesterday's news everyday.


	2. Chapter 2

xxxx

"What's on your mind?" Meghan asked me while I was bussing tables at work. Her question kind of caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I picked up a soggy french fry.

"I mean you are clearly distracted!" She smiled at me curiously. Meghan was alright. She was good for Darry. She was real soften spoke, a real people pleaser. She wasn't huge into parties or drinking, but she knew how to have a good time.

"How do you figure?" I hadn't felt like I was distracted.

"You forgot table 4's take out boxes, and you hardly paid Mr. Smith any attention!" I hadn't even realized Mr. Smith was in here. He was a regular, a real sweet widower who came in here for human interaction. He had become kind of a crazy cat man. He was always taking in the strays. "So come on, what is it?" She was real easy to talk to normally, but I didn't know if this was a conversation for my brothers girl friend. But I knew what Angela would say if I talked to her.

"Okay," I finally scanned the diner making sure people were happy enough. "Help me with is chair leg." That was our code to buy us time. If the boss walked in and just saw us standing there talking he would separate us, but screwing the metal thing to prevent the chairs from being uneven was a two person job. Meghan looked excited that I was talking to her, and it occurred to me how lonely she must be with Darry gone in all. I needed to remember to talk to my mom about inviting her over for dinner more.

"You know Franki," I obviously knew she knew Franki but I had to start somewhere.

"Yeah, the brumbly whose got the hots for you, and he's easy on the eyes, that one right?" She patted my arm joking with me.

"Yeah, that one. Well, he wants to have sex," I spun the chair leg around just for something to do. I wasn't real sure it was suppose to move that way. If it wasn't broken before, it is now.

"Aw Honey, he's a boy, all boys do." She gave me that aw your so young and innocent look old people give.

"So, I should just sleep with him?" I just needed someone to tell me what to do. I didn't really care either way.

" Not if you don't want to! He doesn't get to decide with out you!" The way she spoke made me feel stupid for even asking.

"But, why wouldn't I want to, I mean he is good lookin, and he treats me good, so why not?"

"Right, he is good looking, are ya'll really in love? It is your first time, your first time is never that great, there's always that risk of getting knocked up even if your careful, sure it's great in all, but only if its with the right guy at the right time." Her questions and statements made my head spin. Were we in love? I mean really in love, not just the typical high school love? I'm not about to have a baby, not even when hell freezes over. Not with the hottest man on this earth. It is my first time and it isn't his, does that matter? She must have sensed that I was worrying about it, because she grabbed the chair and sat me in it.

"Your first time should matter, you should be able to talk to him about this. Mar, if you can't then he's not the one to do it with." I kinda wanted to throw up a little when she said that because I knew she was talking about Darry, but as I opened my mouth the chair leg broke off and I landed on my back on the ground taking the table down with me making a loud noise and a hot mess. Meghan as well as everyone in the restaurant got a kick out of that. It didn't help that my roller bladed made it next to impossible to get up. James came up from the back picking up the table and taking the chair outside. He just shook his head. He was a buddy of Franki, so I hoped like hell he didn't hear our conversation.

As my shift ended I clocked out waving to Meghan before seeing Franki.

"Hey baby," he opened the door for me. I really liked being around Franki, and I could see a future with him, and I was a little afraid that if I held out on him he would try to find someone else. He must have been able to tell that I was deep in thought because he asked me about it.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He had his hand on my knee.

"Us" I looked over to him.

"Oh yeah, how so?" he grinned a little.

"You tell me you love me, but I just want to be sure," he gave me a funny look as if I had three heads.

"Of course I love you, why would you ask?"

"Do you want to have sex because you love me?"

"Mary," He pulled his truck over.

"No, I'm serious. You've had sex multiple times, have you loved everyone you had sex with?" I could tell my question threw him off guard.

He stuttered a bit before beginning, "no, I have not loved all of them. I also haven't waited this long in my past relationships. It's different with you," he was trying to flatter me and it was working.

"How can I be sure?" I was still skeptical.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to trust me," he shot me a movie star smile before pulling back onto the road.

"I still don't think I should lie to my parents, maybe I should just tell them the truth." My parents were pretty rational they would at least listen.

"NO way, are you off your rocker? Your dad would kill me! You can not tell them! Jesus Curtis, don't be such a goodie goodie, live a little." He looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"Franki," I sighed as he pulled outside my house.

"Maybe we should forget it," he told me as I opened the door.

"Forget what? Us or the sex?" he didn't answer me he just pulled off before my door was even closed all the way. My heart was pounding and my head was spinning. What just happened?

"4 times mom, 4 times people asked me if Pony was my real name," Pony wined not being helpful in the kitchen.

"Only 4 times, please, that's nothing," Soda mocked him noticing me walk in. "Hey Mar," he greeted me.

"Rough first day back?" I asked taking the potato from Pony and peeling it.

"I'm just saying did you get tired of regular names after Mary? Could ya'll not think of anything else ending in an ry? What about Garry, or Berry?" Pony was not about to let it go.

"You don't really look like a Garry or a Berry," Soda added as my Dad came in the front door.

"How was everyone's first day?" he collectively asked us. Mom made him take most of his clothes off outside because they were nasty and stinky, so she always had him laid out a fresh set of clothes sitting on the end table.

"Don't even get Pony started on his name," Soda warned and Pony took swat at him and it lead to a full wrestling match on our floor. Not anything too unusual. My dad stood over them being the judge. My mom laughed along, she knew there was no use in telling them to be careful, so she just watched beside me.

"Say uncle!" Soda ordered.

"No!" Pony struggled. Before long Pony eventually gave in and said Uncle, but not for a lack of trying.

"Alright kids, wash up dinner's ready." Mom shooed up out.

"You know ma, I ate at the diner on my break. I guess I forgot how hungry learning made me. I'm gonna sit this one out." I tried to be convincing, and I hoped Soda and Pony were enough of a distraction that she would be too preoccupied. I had learned how to fall with in the cracks of my family. I had mastered how to stay out of the way and be unnoticed. I liked it that way, I just didn't have the same things in common with my brothers, they were all so similar, they had the same friends, liked the same things, I just didn't really fit that. Individually I had a pretty good relationship with all of them. Darry and I always got along, we were so close in age we usually had enough to talk about, and then everyone really got along with Soda, and Pony he would always be the baby, and I will always look at him that way. He's just so young and innocent, and smart and he'll go somewhere. I always liked hanging around him because he was quiet, but sometimes he would say the most off the wall things. It was the same with my parents, I didn't play football with my dad and the guys, and I didn't share their love for cars and football, but my dad and I had out own stuff. We liked talking about the past. What it was like when he grew up, how he survived loosing his brother, and then his parents. He had a lot of wisdom, but if you didn't ask him you would miss it.

Then there's my mom who I swear was a saint. She just had this laid back easy going personality. She had this signature head nod she did when any of us did anything dumb or did anything that she ultimately had to fix. I had only ever seen her mad a couple times, and when she was it was always over reasonable things. She really liked to live in the present, and be thankful for the now. Her and I spent a pretty good bit of time together in the summer. She showed me how to do stitches, she showed me my way around the kitchen, and how to sew. But, she did it in a way fun way, not the typical, "I'm showing you how to do all of this so you can do it when you become a house wife." I truly just enjoyed my mom's company.

We had this wooden porch swing that was probably my favorite place in the world. Where it was positioned gave it a nice breeze in the summer, and it protected from the cold in the winter. I hadn't even realized I had lost track of time until my mom came out. I looked over to her," Ready to clean up already?" I asked her assuming that's why she came out.

"Oh, the boys can get it, it'll do them some good." She sat beside me. We both rocked back and forth, she had her hand on my knee circling it a bit.

"You miss Darry mom?" I don't know what brought that up. It wasn't like I was trying to say something because of the uncomfortable silence. I had thought about him today. It was weird not seeing him in the hall ways. He as the only one besides my dad who called me Myra.

"Oh, of course. I miss him being around, but he's happy, and there's a feeling you get when your kids happy that makes you not miss them so much. His hard work paid off," she pulled a loose hair and put it behind my ear. I nodded agreeing with her. It made since as to why they never seemed to emotional. I always thought parents sending their first born off would make them sad or something.

"Mar," she said my name then paused. We stopped rocking and I looked over to her. "You don't seem happy." My heart jumped a little when she said that.

"Oh, I am Ma, I've just had a long day," I didn't want her to think that I was unhappy.

"It's not just today Honey, I know it is different for you and you don't have a bunch of friends the same was your brothers do, but I want you to be included more. I want you to feel like you fit in." She continued stroking my hair, but we weren't rocking anymore. I didn't know if I needed to get defensive, or what my emotion should be.

"It's just different with girls is all." I wasn't really sure if it were different with all girls or just me.

"I just wish you would put yourself out there more." This conversation was all too familiar.

"Man, we've talked about this every year since I got to middle school when ya'll made me try out for cheerleading. I am fine. Please don't worry." I really didn't want her to waste time thinking about my happiness.

"Well, what was Franki's problem when he dropped you off today. He spud out of here like his pants were on fire." My mom always knew what was going on.

"He just gets hot headed I guess." I didn't really know how else to respond.

"Yeah, I know a thing or two about hot headed men," she nudged me. I knew who she was referring to. Or whatever the plural of who was because everyone but Soda was hot headed.

"Sometimes, I just don't really know why he dates me is all."

"You love him," she told me plainly.

"Yeah, I do, but Ma, I'm not sure he loves me. Lately he's just so not himself. Like he was asking me to get off work, and he's more forced about hanging out. He's just not really as honest as I thought he was." I knew better than to tell my mom my boy friend wants to have sex, because even though I'm not too far from 18, I would not test her authority to lock me up and throw away the key.

"Honey, all boys are the same at his age. Darry was, Soda already is with that Sandy, it's only a matter or time. But it's different with girls, and it shouldn't be. The girl just has more to worry about." She started rocking again and I wondered if we were talking about what I thought we were talking about.

"Ma, he wants me to lie and he wants to go to Buck's he wants to drink, and do stuff I know you and dad wouldn't approve of." I decided to go all in here.

"Well, I think the real question is do you want to? Because there comes a time in your life when you can't only do things to please your parents, and I would hate for you to be unhappy just because your parents are old school. You have to develop your own standards and I'd like to think you are mature enough to know right from wrong." She paused when she could tell I wasn't understanding how she was saying this.

"Honey you are young, you are beautiful, you have to live you life. Mess up sometimes, take a risk. We aren't going to disown you if you let us down. You don't have to be so afraid." Wow, what an awesome mom. Not everyone had parents who would invest in their children's happiness so much.

I was left speechless, I could only nod my head. We swung for a little while longer in silence before she gracefully stood up and walked back into the house. I followed her in a little bit later after I thought I had figured out what I was going to do.

"Myra, tell me how you first day was," he grabbed my arm pulling me to the arm of his chair.

"Yeah, dad, it was good, I lucked out and I have an easy name. Even easier because no one has ever heard of Curtis since Darry took the smart people classes. That won't be the case for Pony, they will expect him to be as smart as Darry. Now, Soda and I, we lucked out." I winked at Soda on the couch.

"I'm not even sure where to begin with that," my dad rubbed his forehead, but I think deep down he knew I was right.

"Don't worry Dad, Darry and Pony may have gotten the brains, but Soda and I, we got the personality," I kissed him before standing up.

"Yeah, you better run," Dad shook his head laughing. It must have been a hard day at work, he looked especially tired and worn out. I hoped it rained for him soon so he could get a day off. I knew he liked being busy for the money, but it really wore out his body. He was developing and unhealthy relationship to aspirin. By the time I got to my room and got everything ready for the next day it was already time for bed, and before I knew it my alarm was going off.

I was alone in the kitchen, but I could tell my mom had been here because the coffee pot was on. I beat the guys to the bathroom like usual and got ready before any of them functioning.

"Mary," my mom knocked on the door before opening it. That was unusual.

"Franki's here." Even if we hadn't had a fight last night and he were just coming over before school like he always did he was 45 minutes early. I looked at her like she had spoken a foreign language.

"You look fine, go talk to him," she encouraged pulling on one of my curls. I walked out and saw him standing in the family room holding flowers. I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face.

"Aw, Franklin, you shouldn't have gotten Mrs. Curtis flowers, you're making me look bad, son," he put him hand on my shoulder. I knew he was kidding, but I wondered what my mom told him about our conversation last night.

"Darrell hush," mom playfully scolded him. "Mary I'll put them in a vase for you," my mom took them from me leaving me no excuse not to talk to him.

"Actually I came to talk to you, well both of you. I want to take Mary out tonight, and I want it to be special," he never ceased to surprise me. Was he about to ask my parents if it was okay for us to have sex? Was I going to let him.

"How is this going to be any more special than every other time you take her out?" My mom must have told him something, because usually in the mornings he was running around like a mad man to get ready.

"Sir, I'm eighteen, she's almost eighteen, and before you know it we will both be walking across the stage at graduation. We aren't little kids any more, I wanted Mary to lie to you, to tell ya'll she was at work and to sneak around with me, but she insisted that she wouldn't lie to you. You've raised a classy daughter sir, I love her and I want to be with her." I had never been more impressed by him then I was just then.

"What exactly are you asking to do with my daughter, let me remind you she's my only daughter, so I would proceed with caution here," Dad didn't look necessarily angry or threatening, but he wasn't joking either. I wasn't sure what was about to happen.

"Now Darrell, just listen to what the boy has to say, don't make fun of him," Mom stepped in a little.

"I want you to trust her, and to give us an opportunity to go out like adults with no predetermined conditions, time frames, or restrictions." He must have rehearsed what he was going to say because he looked very confident.

My dad looked over to my mom like they were telepathically communicating. Finally he spoke up, "I trust her, I always have," and looked over at me and then back to Franki, "it's you I doubt. But she shouldn't be punished for that. Be careful, have fun," he brushed my me walking to his room. He didn't squeeze my arm or kiss my cheek like he normally did, but I didn't notice the impact of that right away.

"Well, I don't want to stay, I know you have to drive the kids to school, but I'll pick you up at 7, and bring you back in the morning?" He looked from me to my mom.

"Don't push your luck, Franklin," mom warned him. He kissed me quickly and walked out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I put my car in park outside her house like I had millions of times, but it felt different. I wanted to say I felt free and I felt relieved that her parents pretty much gave us the okay to do what ever we wanted, but it was almost the opposite. I was looking forward to the challenge of sleeping with her, but I was not about to give up now. I had invested too damn long to not finish it off. I was a lot of things, but I was not a quitter.

I knocked on her door before walking in. The greasers were all sitting around playing some cards, well most of them anyway greasers all really looked the same to me. I didn't have a problem with the greasers, they didn't usually rub us Brumbley's the wrong way, but we weren't exactly buddies or nothing like that.

"Well ain't you looking spiffy, it's like you were thrown up out of a story book," Dallas Winston spoke so poetically. Sometimes I really hated that guy. He was a real pain in the hood. He didn't have the slightest bit of a care for right or wrong. He just did what ever he damn well please.

Luckily Mary and her Mamma came in before I had to respond. It wouldn't be like it was to first time I got into it with Dally, but it would probably put a damper on the mood. Not that Mary got to aggravating about fighting. Some chicks hated rumbles and they hated it when boys fought, but Mary couldn't care less. She always just stayed out of it.

"Damn Mar, you're dressing up this much for this thug, I'd like to see what you'd do for a real guy," Dally stood up and watched.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," she smiled. She had a smile like her mamma and a laugh like her dad.

"Mary help me in the kitchen real quick before you leave," her mom looked calm, but I knew better.

"Where's Mr Curtis?" I asked the guys. I was worried he would be here threatening me.

"Working," Soda answered when no one else did.

"No tell me Tanner, what do ya'll have planned tonight? You thinking you're going to get lucky?" Two-bit wasn't exactly being quiet, but he was quitter than usual. I knew he didn't want Mrs. Curtis to hear.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, word is that's no man land, if you know what I mean," Dally nudged Two-bit. Two-bit and Randle laughed, but Pony and the other kid whose name I never can remember looked like they were about 6 different kinds of uncomfortable.

"You know that's my sister right?'' Soda spoke up, but he was smiling a little too. It's not like him and Sandy hadn't explored this territory. Personally I didn't see what Sandy and Soda saw in each other, but they were like two love birds right off the bat.

Mary came around around the corner before I had to try to think of something to say, and she did look real nice. "Mary," I started but she grabbed my hand and lead me outside before I finished. We got to the car and still she hadn't said anything.

"I'm real sorry about yesterday. Sometimes I just go kinda crazy, you make me crazy Mary," I meant that as a compliment, she wasn't the type to read too much into things, which was good because that was aggravating.

"Well, I will admit, I can't stay mad when you come in and talk to my parents like that." I could tell that she had forgiven me by the way she looked at me. You could read her eyes like a book. This might not be as hard as I thought it was going to be.

"Mary Curtis, I am so very relieved to hear you say that," I kissed her as I was driving. She always tensed up when I did it like she was afraid I would crash, but I knew she wouldn't say anything because she was always the last one to nag.

"Where're we headed anyway?" She asked looking out the window.

"Buck's, a buddy of mine is in the cooler, I cleaned it up made it real romantic for us." I raised an eye brow at her.

"Okay," she nodded. I wasn't going to ask her why she didn't sound more excited because I didn't want to open that can of warms. I wasn't about to talk to her about her feelings or any shit like that. Instead I kissed her when we parked before I went to open her door.

"Baby, you gotta relax," I hand my hands on her shoulders. I could tell she was anxious, and if I was a gentleman I would have cared, but honestly I didn't. After tonight I couldn't care less what happened. I couldn't wait to rub it in Daniels' face that I did what he couldn't. Daniel was a brumly. He was my friend and all but with the girls he could be such a pompous ass. Then again, I would beat any body to a pulp who messed with Daniel. I would expect him to do the same. That's part of the reason why I knew that Mary and I would never be long term. Although she may not necessarily act like a greaser or may not even really associate herself with them she still technically was one, and the greasers and the brumly just didn't quite mix. Sure, brumly's were greasers, but greasers were not brumlys. We were harder, tuffer, badder, we went out and searched for trouble, and although Mary hadn't fussed over me much, or even complained when I've been in the cooler, it simply wouldn't work out.

"What do you want to drink?" I hoped she would drink something strong, it's not like I had to sneak her back in her house her parents were way more cool than I expected.

"I'm okay," she said with out even thinking about it much.

"Mar, come on!" I coaxed.

"Okay, fine" she sighed. I went off and got some beers. On my way I ran into Daniel. I knew he would be at Buck's, but it made it that much sweeter that I'd be able to rub his nose into it twice.

"Hey Man," he raised his glass to me. I motioned to the bar keep to gimme two which caught Daniel's attention.

"You're not here with Mary?" He questioned me in disbelief.

"About to lock and load baby," I had a wide grin on my face, but he almost looked happy for me. Not the surprised reaction I would have expected. Not jealous or anything. The next part threw me off the handle bars.

"Be careful not to let her slip through your fingers, hold on to her," he threw money down for my drinks and was gone. I didn't understand why he said that, because when they broke up he didn't have a good thing to say about her. He's the one that bet no one could get in her pants.

"Here baby," I handed it to her as I held her close. Mary loved to dance and she was pretty good at it too. Better than anyone I knew. We danced to two songs on the juke box. She had drunk about half her drink, and I was certain even a light weight like her wouldn't feel a buzz from it. Still, I was ready to do the dirty and pulled her upstairs. "You really are beautiful, you know?" I learned from a young age that women loved to hear shit like that. It was pretty simple to get her into bed, much easier than I had anticipated. I lead the way and she just followed right along. When we finished I rolled over on the bed. Her head was on my chest.

"Not bad Mar," I kinda of laughed. I figured she didn't really know what to say. She wasn't one to just speak with out having something to say.

"I'll give it to you, for your first time, damn!" I went too far. Unlike Mary, I was feeling my buzz.

"Why do you sound so surprised!" She laughed at my enthusiasm.

"I mean I thought you'd hold back, after all, all you and Daniel did was kiss! I thought i'd have to do a lot of work to accomplish what we just accomplished." If I would have stopped there I probably would have been okay, but I didn't.

"Did Daniel tell you that?" She still wasn't mad, but I could tell she wasn't laughing anymore.

"Well I mean yeah, what else would he have said when ya'll have broken up?" And that became the shot that was heard around the word.

"He told you we broke up because I wouldn't sleep with him!" Mary repeated.

"Baby, I don't understand why you're getting so upset?" I put my hand on her back.

"Because it's not true! Why were you talking to him about me any way?" She was starting to get a little angry.

"Baby, we weren't talking about you like that! He just said he didn't think you'd let a hood like us sleep with you. He wasn't saying anything bad, I wouldn't have let him!" I thought I was saying all the right things, but in fact more more I talked the more feet were jabbed into my mouth.

"So you had to prove him wrong is that it? Is that why you were so mad when i told you I didn't want to, and why you came over to my house this morning? You wanted to prove him wrong so badly?" She was no longer laying on the bed she was putting her clothes back on and was about to leave upset, I knew I had to move fast.

"It ain't like that Mar! I wanted to sleep with you cause I wanted to sleep with you, I would have done it even if Daniel didn't tell me I couldn't!"

"Was any of it real? Do you even really love me?" She gave me a pathetic look that even almost made me feel bad.

"I mean sure, but we're from two different worlds, we're graduating at the end of the year there's no telling where either of us will be!" I grabbed on to her arm.

"So this is it?" She didn't fight my grip. I knew she wanted me to say no.

"Yeah, I guess." I could have told her no, that we could keep seeing each other, but I knew that I was already getting bored.

She was gone faster than I could blink.

AN: i wanted to keep the sex scene pretty pg, because I wasn't real sure what people wanted, but now the serious stuff is over. the next chapter is one with Dally, so it should be a kick. Let me know what you're thinking. Are my chapters too long?


	3. Chapter 3

"Sylvia, don't be such tease, come on baby!" She had been fussing and nagging all night long. I wasn't paying her enough attention, she didn't like the way I was dancing, I was being too rough, blah, blah, blah.

"Insult me, is that really how you think you can get what you want!" She hissed at me.

"I don't know what you think I want, but I can assure you I don't want it!"

"Ugh!" She screamed at me walking away. She wasn't as much screaming as much as it was growling. I thought after a drink or two I'd go find her, come up with an apology or an excuse, but I saw Mary Curtis coming down the stairs. She wasn't running or anything crazy, but I knew she wouldn't be leaving at this hour unless something happened. When I didn't see Franki come down I knew she was about to walk her boney ass home.

"How dense do you have to be to not understand how stupid it is to walk home alone?" I came up behind her scaring her.

"Damn it Dally!" She swatted at me. Even if I wanted to, which I didn't, I couldn't resist a laugh.

"Trouble with Franklin?" I didn't even try to hide the way I said his name. It was like I was rolling my tongue or pronouncing the k harder than necessary.

"He's a pig," she said with a sigh.

"Well he sure as hell ain't Prince Charming if that is what you were hoping you were getting I can understand your disappointment. He's a brumbly for Christ's sake!" Mary and I weren't buddies by any means, but I went and visited her at the diner when I couldn't find any action. We'd take a smoke break. We didn't talk much, but I sure wasn't one for small talk. She wasn't squeamish like most chicks. She didn't fuss when I told her about stealing from stores, or busting Tim's tires she usually got a kick out of it.

"i really need a smoke," she told me through a sigh.

"I thought the whole reason women carried those big ass purses was so they could carry all their own shit," I motioned to her side.

"Well, I don't exactly have my smokes, because I was busy packing an over night bag Dallas, I didn't think I'd need them!" She growled exiting Buck's.

"Well damn Mary, why don't you get a little more fired up," I egged her on grabbing a smoke, lighting it, and handing it to her.

"Dallas, I'm about to tel you what I'm sure you have heard a million times by people of all kinds, leave me alone," she took the smoke and walked toward the sidewalk.

"I'm not about to let some Soc take advantage of you feeble condition," I walked after her. That chick could move.

"Feeble condition?" She had a look like Soda's. Half crazy and Half serious. If her fave stuck like that she'd have a mess.

"We'll yeah, being a female and a greaser."

"Did you just become a gentlemen over night?" She was taking long drags of her smoke. I choked out a laugh at her comment. Dallas Winston was no gentleman.

If you didn't know her you wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong. She was usually pretty quiet around us, but she had this look on her face that made me know she wasn't really with me right now, well not at least her head.

"So what, he's bad in bed, a lot of people are, move on," I turned around and walked backwards. She was walking too damn slow.

"Dallas, that's not it," she hissed her eyes narrowed and I knew she wanted to say more.

"Okay, so you're bad in bed, practice makes perfect sunshine. Well, except me, I was pretty perfect from the first time," I laughed thinking about it, she didn't laugh.

"Dally seriously?" Her mouth was open as if she were surprised that I said that. You woulda thought she knew better than to be surprised by anything I said.

"Yeah, doll face, I ain't kidding. I was 14 years old it was cold as you don't even know. I convinced this dumb broad to come into my car to warm up, except it wasn't my car, she didn't know I was only 14. Let me tell you we made it steamy in there," I nudged her with my elbow, but before she could stop me I started again. "Ya know, I can give you some pointers. I bet you're a fast learner."

"Stop, just stop!" She held up her hand.

"So what, if both ain't bad at it then what's the problem, huh?" I normally wouldn't care, but the night was young Sylvia went off pissed, and there really wasn't any action. She looked at me laughed and shook her head.

"What's so damn funny?"

"You, if you think I'd ever talk to you!"

"We ouch, I do believe you just hurt my feelings!" I put my hand over my heart.

"Somehow, you'll get over it." She said with out emotion as we got near her house. I

"Did your parents actually give you permission to sleep with him?" That's what Soda told me, but I found that very out of character for Mr. and Mrs. Curtis. They were as Christian as it came.

"No, they just gave me permission to act like an adult, and to trusted me," I could tell by her tone that she was disappointed. I for one didn't feel bad ever. Maybe if I had people who gave a damn and trusted me then I'd care if I let any one down.

"I suppose that's their fault for trusting a couple 17 year olds," I laughed thinking about how dumbfound her parents would be. She didn't respond but I could sense the dread. "You should drink more, it'd help you feel better." I knew she hasn't drunk much if any at all.

"You might not be too far off base on that one," she mumbled pulling on the gate.

"You're a greaser Mary, there ain't no such thing as fairy tales for us, get smart or you'll keep getting your heart broke, Princess." With that I turned and left. I had done my duty of making sure she made it home unharmed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was mostly waiting up for Soda. Pony had come back from the movies with Johnny a little bit ago. I figured he was reading in his room. Pony, he would read all day if he could. I never had to worry much about setting rules for Soda, because Sandy's parents set enough for the both of us. The wife and I went over and invited them to dinner so that they could get to know us better, maybe see that we were good parents and taught Soda how to respect women. But, they never had time. Mrs. Curtis always told me to give them the benefit of the doubt and to believe them when they say they are busy, but I had a funny feeling about that family. Of course I'd keep those feelings to myself seeing as Soda was head over heels in love with her, there was no point in ruining their fun. He'd figure it out on his own soon enough. Soda walked in the house drunk on love. I smiled watching him.

"Hi dad!" He greeted me.

"Well, I don't need to ask you if you had a good time do I?" I chuckled thinking about when I was like him. When I was go in love I couldn't even see my nose in front of me.

"Phew, she is something else!" He whistled lightly starting towards his room.

"Son, you told her yet?" I caught his arm. I knew he knew what I was referring to.

"Nah, I'm waiting until the right time. I don't want to rush it and scare her." I could tell he had given this a lot of thought.

"Good for you son, good for you," I was so proud of him. I needed to remember to tell him that more.

"Thanks Dad," he opened their bedroom door, and I instantly heard Pony and Soda talking like little school girls.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shadow on the front porch. I got one of those parental feelings you get when you know something ain't right. However, much like fishing you gotta let the fish nibble before you real her in, you have to let your teenage daughter think before you go out there, if not they just will shut down and you'll walk back in the house with less than you walked out with. Several long minutes later I went outside and sat beside her. She looked over surprised to see me at first, but then looked away quickly after.

"I'm just going to assume that it didn't go like you planned." She shook her head and her bottom lip quivered. "Ah, baby," I sighed I draped my arm around her.

"I'm so embarrassed," she also sighed. Probably to help her fight the tears. "You taught me better."

"We taught you yes, but we also taught you that no one is perfect, and when you make a mistake you must forgive yourself," I pulled her bangs out of her eyes.

"Dad," she whimpered putting her head on my shoulder.

"Go ahead baby, you don't have to be so strong," I rubbed her back.

"I was nothing to him!" I hated to see her upset, but I also knew that it was the circle of life. We all get used and use others at some points in our lives. It didn't make me any less angry to see Myra upset. Myra was a nick name I gave her. It means young beauty. No matter how old she grows she will always be my young beauty.

"What now?" She asked me.

"Honey, you have plenty of time to find the right person." I met her mom in high school and I knew she was the one, but I also knew the right person was out there for Mary.

"I'm not so sure dad. There're aren't guys like that anymore. Not in Tulsa." She did have a point. There were many hoods and lost boys in Tulsa, and I knew a Soc would not pursue her because of the ridiculous feud.

"So maybe you'll go out of Tulsa once you graduate, huh?" I smiled knowing it was wishful thinking.

"Yeah, sure dad," she took both her hands and ran in under her eyes. "I better get to bed, big day tomorrow. I know you're excited to see him play in the big league," she bumped my knee. She was right, I was so proud of him.

"Good night baby, say good night to your mom okay?" I knew she probably had the same feeling I had about Mary coming home. Even if neither of us said it out loud, that's what was so magical about being married for over 20 years, you knew what the partner was thinking with out even saying it.

AN: I made this chapter a little shorter. I was worried my previous ones were a little too long. Lemme know what you think. I have an idea where it's going but I'd love advice and feed back.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: We're rolling now. Let me know what you think. Was Tim in character? I like him I want to keep writing for him, so let me know what you think.

"Boys, if you don't hurry up we will leave you!" I threaten them from the kitchen. I meant it too. Even if we were only going for a day trip it was still an awful lot of work to get everyone out at one time. Not to mention the sandwiches and the snacks I packed for my four then the extra four. Right as I saw them coming into the kitchen the phone rang.

"Goodness gracious," I sighed reaching for it, but Mary beat me too it. That gave me more time to push the boys outside. "Divide up boys," I didn't care who was in what car there were plenty able drivers at this point, I just wanted everyone in the car.

"Momma," Mary caught my attention. I turned back and face her.

"It's Meghan, she's in a bind at work and they won't let her leave," Mary's voice trailed off after that.

"Well, honey, there will be other games," I knew Meghan must have been crushed. Not to mention how Darry would fee. She was expecting him.

"Don't you think I should go in and cover for her, don't you think he'd rather see her? You know he looks for her in the stands," she had the phone down but she was whispering.

"That's your call, I'm sure he'd want to see you too." I needed to remember to talk to Darrel Sr. about talking to Mary about Darry not wanting to see her. Mary must know that it wasn't that Darry wanted to see Meghan more, it was just different. Wasn't it?

"I dunno about that Mrs. Curtis, I think he'd rather see his girl friend than Princess here, because think about it," Dally started but I cut in.

"Dallas, get in the car or I won't give you a sandwich," I knew that was a better threat than anything. Boys and their food.

"Can you drop me off and pick up Meghan?" Mary asked and I nodded. She hurried off to her room and put on her uniform, and came back out at record speed. I was surprised to see it wasn't on backwards.

"What's going on?" Darrel Sr. asked me as Mary got in the back of the truck.

"Meghan's in a rut, Mary's going to cover for her." When he gave me a puzzled look I was quick to respond, maybe a little too quick, "it was either Meghan or Mary, Mary thought Darry would rather see her," I raised my eyebrows and he gave me a kurt nod before cranking the car.

"Jeeze Marbear, think that skirt could get any tighter?" Two-bit asked.

"Yeah, where do you keep all those tips?" Dally added in pulling on the waist.

"Get your greasy hands off me," Mary swatted at him successfully causing him to dumb his drink on Steve.

"What the hell man!" Steve was steaming. It took so little to made him go off the deep end. Darry Sr. chuckled I wanted to join him, but as a mother you learn how to resist.

"Dallas, Two-bit, keep your mouth shut! Marry keep your hands to yourself, here Steve here's a napkin. Glory how old are ya'll can't leave you alone for two seconds."

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"Mary!" Meghan ran up to me I thought she was going to kiss me she looked so happy.

"Hey Megs," I smiled to her, and she grabbed my hand.

"I can't thank you enough, I just don't know what I would do if I couldn't go see him!" She still hadn't let go of my hand.

"You better hurry, they are not going to wait long," I motioned to the car.

"Hey, how'd it go last night?" The way she asked made me know she already knew.

"Let's just say it won't happen again," I told her with no emotion. I certainly wasn't over Franki yet, but I sure as hell would put on a face and act like it.

"Oh no Mar! How rude of me, are you even okay to work?" Meghan was on of those girl that you kinda shake your head and say, 'bless her heart' because she was so out of this world sweet, but sometimes that prevented her from really understanding the most obvious things.

"Don't worry! Go on!" I shooed her.

"Okay, I'll send Darry your love!" She was outside getting in the car like it was Christmas Day. I shook my head going to punch in my card.

"Look at you, saving the day. Such a goodie goodie," James touched my cheek like old ladies did to babies.

"Oh goodie, James I was just really super hoping I was working with you. Prayers answered!" I rolled my eyes sitting down to put on my roller skates. Luckily he disappeared and I picked up where Meghan left off.

"Hi, I'm Meghan, I'm going to be your waitress now, what can I get for you?" I tired not to sound monotone and to put pep in my speech, but after a while it just got so repetitive.

"I want a burger all the way with out lettuce or tomato," the wife told me.

"So you want just the pickle and ketchup?" Why would she say all the way.

"Oh, no, no pickle."

"Just ketchup?" This lady was nuts.

"I'll have a burger with everything, but instead of fries can I have onion rings?" This couple was going to be a lot of work.

"Its a 3 cent charge for onion rings, that okay?" I looked at him hopeful he would say it was fine.

"Can I just have one less onion ring? Could you cut on in half if it's the great big ones?" Could I cut it in half? Who would pay to eat the other half of someone else's onion ring?

"I'm sorry we can't do that, there aren't any substitution. Our onion rings are the best in Tulsa sir, and if I do say so myself they are well worth the extra 3 cent," I squatted down to his level. I had been a waitress since I was 16 and over the years you learn a couple tricks to help you with aggravating people.

"Well, I'm sure you know them best! You have convinced me!" He smiled real big, like he had just made a real life decision. I returned his smile and went to place the order. Truth be told I didn't really like the onion rings, the fries were much better, but that's truly not my problem.

I had an other customer who was high maintenance, but other than that it was mostly kids I knew from school, or at least recognized. They usually weren't problems. The problem kids were when the socs who came in just to cause problems. That didn't really happen too frequently. Normally they would take it outside. Few people actually took pride in getting arrested like Dallas.

The problem with high schoolers coming in was they made a huge mess and I was never sure how. Although at home the guys could make a mess to, so I guess its a guy thing. I was leaning over cleaning up some kind of nasty something off the table when I heard a snicker followed by, "shit I thought she wasn't working today." I hoped if I kept cleaning they would just leave. I should have at least stood up, because although Dallas was just trying to get under my skin about the skimpy uniforms it wasn't a complete lie. When you bent over the way I was you weren't appropriately cover the way your Daddy would probably want.

"She's a fine piece of," his friend started buy Franki cut him off.

"Shut it Man, where's your respect, huh?" Franki seemed like he actually meant what he was saying, but I knew I couldn't believe anything that came out of his mouth anymore.

"Respect huh? Did you all of a sudden get that over night?" I raised my eye brow facing him, trying to be stronger than I felt.

"Something like that," he brushed past me and sat down. I was a little disappointed when he walked by my that easily, I secretly wanted him to apologize or make an excuse, or maybe even try to get back together with me. I didn't think I'd be so easy to just walk past after everything.

As if Franki and his idiot friend being there wasn't bad enough lord and behold if Daniel didn't walk in right behind them. I muttered some Two-bit style language when I spotted him, wishing like hell Meghan would have been there to deal with it, but I was the only waitress on the floor today. Sunday's were usually not too busy, plus the boss came in, and he'd help out if it got out of hand. He wouldn't come out and wait on them just because I was avoiding them. He wasn't the most approachable guy. When I knew I had stalled long enough I went over and tried real hard to act like it was no big deal.

"What can I get ya'll?" I asked reminding myself to be as monotone as possible.

"Mar,shit, hey, I thought you were going to watch Darry," he seemed surprised to see me.

"Plans changed, what'll it be?"

"3 burgers, 3 pepsi, and 4 fries, and tell James to come out, would ya be a doll?" The guy I didn't remember ordered. I nodded heading to leave.

"How can I be sure you won't mess it up on purpose?" Franki grabben my wrist.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me," I gave him a cold look throwing his words back in his face. Daniel chuckled.

"You didn't use that line on her too? Glory when are you going to get more original?" I couldn't believe that Daniel was joking about it too. I guess what Franki told me about him was right.

"Wow," I sighed to my self putting the order in the kitchen. "Your friends are here," I told James leaving before he had a chance to acknowledge me.

I went out and waited on a few tables before I went to return them their food. As I placed everything I stood there for a second waiting for someone to complain about something. When they didn't I left starting a coffee pot for the older gentleman who I knew would come in around 5. Right before closing he would sit in the booth while we cleaned.

"I need some more drink," Franki's friend help up his drink like he were raining his hand in class. I assumed was empty, but as I went by to pick it he lifted it higher and jerked it back down just so that it splattered all over my clothes. I gasped, and at first his friends looked surprised too, but then they all started to laugh.

"You did that on purpose!" I could feel my face turning red.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," he grinned at me. " 'sides, not like anyone would believe you, you're just an other easy greaser," he said as Franki told him that was enough.

"I believe it's time for you boys to leave, you've been nothing but trouble since you got here." Boss nudged me out of the way and pushed me towards the kitchen. I continued, but I listened as I walked.

"You can't refuse to serve us," Daniel added.

"I can and I just did. Move you asses before I call the police," they must have thought he was bluffing because they didn't move, until he started towards the phone.

"Punk kids thinking I won't defend my own, the nerve of them. James, you certainly need to get better friends," he walked back to his office mumbling under his breath about kids these days.

James started to talk to me, but I cut him off walking away. What did I see in him. I felt so stupid and ashamed. I shoulda known better. I did know better!

I tried not to let the evening get to me as I finished my shift, but there was only so much pretending you could do. When 5 rolled around and the last customer left I started to grab the mop to clean the front of the store when the boss came out.

"Mary, James has this, go on home," he took it from me. I glanced over to James to see if he had offered, but the look on his face made me know this was news to him.

"I don't mind, I'm in no hurry sir," I could feel my heart starting to beat again.

"I know, but I'm telling you to beat it!" He told me firmly but also with a slight joke as well.

"Okay, thank you," I nodded leaving. I was thankful that he sent me home, I was anxious to get out of there, but I truthfully wasn't in a huge hurry to get home either. I figured they weren't back from Darry's game yet because no one came to get me. I didn't mind taking the bus, I was just in mood. I started towards the bus stop when a truck slowed beside me. I got a bad feeling when it was that close to me. It wasn't as typical for girls to be jumped like it was for the guys, but it still happened. It certainly wasn't uncommon for guys to pull up besides girls and just be real asses. I slowed down turning my head to see Tim Shepard. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey, little far from home ain'tcha?" he slowed down and faced me.

"I guess that depends on whose asking?" I felt a little smile pulling on the corners of my lips.

"Get in," he stopped completely searching for a smoke. I paused not really knowing why. I've known Tim my whole life. I wouldn't trust him with my money, but I'd trust him not to kill me on the drive.

"Whatcha waiting on, me to open the door for ya? What is it that Dally calls you these days, Princess?" My chills came back and he knew that he successfully got under my skin.

"How?" Was all I could manage. Dally just gave me that name last night after my rondevu went wrong.

"Oh calm down, you can't think I didn't see you at Bucks!" He pushed open the door and reluctantly I got in. I was silent and he was too. He must have felt uncomfortable because he gave me his smoke.

"I thought ya'll were going to watch Darry play?"

"Yeah, Meghan got stuck at work and needed someone to cover, I thought they'd be back by now, I appreciate this." I added that last part trying to remember my manners.

"That was real nice of you to work for her," he was almost making fun of me the way he said real nice. I got a lot of beef for being nice. I wouldn't consider myself extra generous or anything, but I think as far as greasers go I may be a little more easy going. No reason to go through life angry at the world I suppose.

"Yeah, well, she covered for me last night, so I guess we are even," I exhaled real hard. There was something about taking long drags of a cancer stick that ironically made me feel like I was clearing my head. Some considered it trashy for girls to smoke, but I've done it since I was Pony's age.

Tim looked at me like he was going to say something, but stopped himself for a minute. I just looked at him waiting. "If he ever takes advantage of you again, you let me know ya hear?" When I didn't respond he spoke again. "It don't matter that I'm Angela's brother, or Darry's buddy all that matter is that you get treated right, ya hear me?"

"I don't know what you heard Tim, but Franki didn't do anything wrong. He didn't make me do anything I wasn't too stupid to do on my own!" I didn't know why I was defending Franki.

"Princess, it don't matter if you went along with or not, if you wanted to do it then you wouldn't be sitting here in my car like you just saw a ghost." I was almost annoyed that Tim thought he could just act like he knew what was going on, because he didn't. There was no way he had a damn clue.

"Who died and made you my babysitter?" In my head I was thinking much more insulting remarks, but in the moment I couldn't get them out.

"Someone has to be, and Darry ain't here, so you're stuck with me." He thought awfully high of himself. I just continued to look out the window. We got to my house and I got out thanking him for the ride, not sure that I really meant it.

There still weren't any cars in the back so I just assumed no one was there and I started pulling off my wet and sticky shirt right after I walked in the house. I was half way to the bathroom when I heard laughing. Quickly pulling my head back in through my shirt I looked around. I don't know what made me to go to the noise but I did and I turned the nod scaring the life out of Sandy. Her screaming then scared me so I screamed before Soda spoke up.

"Mary, you're home! I was going to go get you!" He sat up half naked.

"Yeah I can see that!" I couldn't help the shock I was feeling.

"We weren't doing anything, only making out I swear!" Sandy answered the question I wasn't going to ask.

"I don't care Sandy, you're not children. Where's Pony?" My heart was still pounding.

"He's with Two-bit, Mom and Dad were going to take the scenic route home." I didn't want to just turn and leave because I didn't want them to think I was mad, but I shouldn't have told them I didn't care, I'm not sure that was the best thing to say.

"Okay well, I'm going to shower, proceed, or don't, do what you want." I wondered if I should have told them to use protection? They said they were only making out, but were they really? Maybe I would miss Darry more than I thought I would. With that in mind I got in the shower, not able to think about much more. Once I toweled off I started back towards my room. I saw Pony on the couch.

"Hey, bud, how was the game?" He was watching some T.V.

"It was great Mar, they killed 'em, wish you could have been there. Darry told me to tell you thank you for helping Meghan. He said he'd call you tonight." Pony looked up from the T.V. but only briefly.

"Okay, thanks." I smiled walking to my room to change. Soda knocked on my door soon after.

"Yeah, come in," I told him sitting on my bed.

"Mary," he started I could tell he was nervous.

"Soda," I said just to say something.

"I didn't think you'd be home. I was going to leave to meet you at 5:30. I'm real sorry." He smiled his famous smile.

"Soda, it's fine. Better me than anyone else huh?" I laughed a little. It might have been a little forced too.

"We weren't doing what you think," he told me again.

"Soda, you have nothing to prove to me. I promise it's fine. Your secret, is safe with me." I ruffled his hair as he yawned.

"What are you hungry for?" I asked. I was a little surprised my parents weren't back or didn't tell me what to make.

"Anything I'm starved." Soda said like always. You could not fill that kid up. I whipped up some dinner and sat on the couch next to the phone as the boys got ready for bed. Just like Darry promised he called.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mar!" Darry sounded excited.

"Darry, congratulations on your big win!" I tried to sound as excited as him.

"Thanks Mar, and thanks for Meghan too, that was real nice of you. How was work was it okay?"

"Oh yeah, Dar just an other day ya know?" There was no need in telling him the truth, there was nothing he could do about it.

"We'll good. You doing okay?" Darry was never one to be subtle. He knew, and I knew it.

"I assume you're referring to mine and Franki's break up? Yes, I'm fine. No one ever really like him anyway." That was true. No one did like him, but some did hide it better than others.

"Well if you ever need to talk, or to visit. Mar you could totally visit me!" He sounded like he just thought of the idea. I laughed. I hoped he never changed.

"Thanks man," I also joined in his laughing looking at my watch. "Did mom and dad tell you when they'd be home? It's kinda late, and it's a school night?" I wasn't really worried I was more surprised.

"You know them, hopeless romantics. Probably stopped at a bed and breakfast. We better get off incase they are trying to call. Take care Mar, and hey, I love you." He told me. I quickly told him I loved him too and hung up. I shook my head smiling. I was glad he was happy, he deserved it.

"No word form mom or dad?" Pony came out with Soda behind him.

"Darry thinks they may have just stopped somewhere. I'm sure they'll be back soon. I guess we might as well go on too bed," it felt weird going to bed with out them here, but I also figured most kids were use to not knowing where there parents were. So, with out much to say we all three went to bed, I was sleeping pretty good too until I head a loud repetitive knock on the door. I was disoriented when I stumbled out of my room. Soda had the same expression on his face.

"Officer, is something wrong?" I tried to hide the panic in my voice.


	5. Chapter 5

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"Is this the residence of Darrel Curtis Senior and Mary Ann?" The look had in his eyes made him look like a rookie.

"Yes, I'm Mary," I don't know why but I stuck out my hand.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident and I'm going to need you to follow us to the hospital." Soda was now beside me with Pony not far behind.

"What happened?" Soda asked with his eyes watering. I could see the officer shuffling his feet I knew this wasn't good.

"Soda, you and Pony go get dressed then run and get Two-bit," they listened to what I said as I stepped out on the porch closing the door behind me.

"How bad is it?" I said the best I could.

"Mary Ann died on impact, Darrel Senior was fighting for his life when I got word to come get next of kin," he put his arm on my shoulder as if anything he did could comfort me.

"Ma'am, is there anyone you can call to meet you there?"

"Yeah, just let me make a few phone calls," he nodded his head. Soda and Pony came out. I was scrambling around like an idiot. Picking up phone numbers and looking through the desk drawer for the purple folder we kept all of out medical shit in.

"I'm going to get Two-bit, we'll meet you at the hospital." He told me with out looking me in the eyes.

"Pony, I'm going to change then we'll go okay?" I pretty much whispered.

"I want to go with Soda." Pony choked out. Soda and I looked at each other, he shrugged and I agreed. I went back and threw on the first thing I saw. I came back out telling the officer I was ready although I was not at all. The ride was silent. When we got to the hospital he told me something about being real sorry and giving me his card. He told me someone would be in touch, but I was not longer listening. As I pretty much ran into the hospital, I was surprised at how busy it was for 2 in the morning on a Monday.

"I'm looking for the Curtis'." I told the lady at the desk. She gave me the same sad look the officer gave me. She nodded to someone behind me, I turned to look but they come up to me first.

"I'm officer Bates, I was first on the scene after your parents accident. I'm assuming you are Mary." He put his hand on my arm pulling me out of the middle of the waiting room.

"Yes, please how's my dad?" I said through a cracking voice.

"He's in surgery. The doctor will be able to tell you more momentarily. I'll have my partner go get him now," he motioned for someone to go look.

"What happened?"

"They were hit by a train." He told me like it was no big deal.

"Oh god," I said mortified.

"I'm so sorry to ask you this, but there was no identification on the woman, and since most of the car was in flames we will not be able to find it, and we need someone to identify the body." He had a stern but sad look on his face.

"Right now?" I asked him already scared.

"The coroner is ready when you are." I was not ready. What was she going to look like? If the car was on fire would I even be able to identify her? Somehow I stood up and I followed him down the hall.

He knocked on the window and a large man pulled open the blinds. "Are you ready?" Officer Bates asked me. I nodded and he motioned for the blanket to be pulled back. With in seconds I knew it was my mom I recognized her hair, her little earrings. But there were gashes all over her face. Her eyes were closed and her skin look so pale.

"Oh mom!" I cried out seeing her. The officer pulled me into a hug away from the window and the blinds were closed. "No," I cried out.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," he kept his arm around me.

"Why did this happen?" I mumbled from his chest.

"It's a cruel world," he told me softly. I continued to cry not so softly in some strangers arms.

"Bates, the Doctor is ready to talk," his partner from earlier came in.

"Are you ready to go?" These questions he asked me might as well be rhetorical because I was not ready, who would be ready for this? "Your brothers just arrived as well." I didn't know if he told me this as a warning to get it together for the sake of them or not, but I took it that way. My mother was dead, my dad is fighting for his life, I'm the oldest I needed to be able to handle this. I took the deepest breath I have ever taken and I followed him out.

"Family of Darrel Curtis Senior?" The doctor called like he was taking roll in class.

"Yes," I told him as Soda and the gang all stood up.

"We're not sure what the extent of his injuries are just yet. He's in an emergency surgery to relieve some swelling to his brain. We removed his spleen and he has lost a lot of blood. I'll be in touch," he squeezed my shoulder and pretty much ran away.

"What about mom?" Soda asked. I felt a knot in my stomach that made me want to pass out.

"Guys," I pretty much whispered. "She didn't make it, it was quick and painless." I added that last part I hoped it was true.

Two-bit hit the wall with his fist, and I looked up to see if the police officers would do anything about it, I think even the fuzz had a soul. Pony leaned into Soda and sobbed and Soda slid down the wall to he floor. I looked at my family and it broke my heart.

"Miss," a nurse tapped my arm. I turned around and looked at her.

"The hospital pastor is here, would you like to talk to him?" I didn't even have time to think before Steve interrupted me.

"What do you want to do pray about it? Where they hell were you when this happened!" Steve hissed.

"Now's not really a good time, I need to make some phone calls," I looked up.

"Here's my number," he placed it in my hand and held it, "I'm so sorry for your loss." I nodded my head not knowing what else to do.

I moved back to a chair who which was in front of a wall. I leaned my head against the wall with my left hand touching my temple. Two-bit and Steve pulled Soda and Pony up off the floor.

"Johnny, Pony, why don't ya'll go take a smoke break, it'll be a while before we hear anything." They agreed and Two-bit followed with out me even saying anything.

"What do you want to do man," Steve nudge Soda's arm.

"I don't even know," Soda's eyes watered again. I don't know what made me stand up and go over to him but I did.

"Some how, some way, it will be okay," I told him as he sobbed. I could feel his tears soaking into my shirt. Steve shifted uncomfortably, and he eventually left, but not before I too saw the tears streaming down his face. You know it's a sad day when you successfully get a bunch of greasers to cry. Eventually Soda and I sat down in the chairs. He was leaning over the seat putting his head on my shoulder. My head was spinning thinking about what was going to happen next. However, I didn't see this coming. Steve turned the corner with Sandy on his arm. I smiled when I saw them. I was neither Steve or Sandy's biggest fan, but still the gesture was a nice one. Soda light up when he saw her. Maybe it was true love.

"Sandy, how'd you get here?" Soda stood up.

"Steve knocked on the door, woke up my parents and told them what happened. It was real brave. They didn't hesitate to send me over. My mom said she'd make breakfast in the morning, or in a few hours I guess," Sandy sat on his lap. "Baby, I am so sorry," she kissed him.

"Not bad Steve," I gave him a weak smile.

"I have my moments." He had a firm look on his face, I figured he had it to prevent the tears. That's what I was doing. Being numb to this was the only thing that was going to get me through it.

"You see Pony and the guys outside?" I knew Two-bit wouldn't try anything right now, but I figured it was at least good to know where everyone was.

"Two-bit went to find Dally. Pony's on his way up with Johnny." Steve drank something that didn't really look like coffee, I gave him a look but didn't say anything.

"Did he look okay?" I don't know why I asked. I knew he wasn't okay.

"Now that we got him off Soda so he could breath I think he's better," Steve's comment wasn't even that rude, but it just hit me wrong.

"He's 13 and his parents just died, cut him god damn break Steve, if he wants Soda give him Soda!" My snap was uncalled for, but before I could correct Steve stepped in.

"He ain't dead yet," Steve handed me his cup and stepped back to Soda and Sandy. I turned to go call Darry. Some how I managed to grab the sticky note on the phone with the schools number. I knew they wouldn't answer, I was glad for it too, I just wanted to leave a message to tell Darry to come home, because I was damn near sick being the oldest.

I took a long sip of the cup, it tasted like poison, but I drank it anyway. Little did I know this stuff was going to get me through the next several months.

I listened to the recorded message telling me of all the different extensions to press, and finally when the machine came on I started to talk, "my name is Mary Curtis, I am Darrel Curtis Jr. little sister. I am calling because I need to get a message to coach Taylor to get to my brother. Our parents were in a horrible accident, and we are in Tulsa Hospital right now waiting for my dad to get out of surgery. If you could tell him to please meet me here." I hung up the phone gasping for air like I was drowning.

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"What do we have?" I asked as I briefly looked at the bloody of a disfigured man. I came in a little aggravated they pulled me in here when there were already 3 doctors on him. Not to mention it was hardly 5 and I was suppose to be sleeping in the on call room. Quickly my feelings changed.

"Automobile accident, worst one of the year," The first responder told me handing me the chart. When ever anything was the worst of the year, the next thing said was never good.

"Curtis, as in Darrel Curtis?" I asked looking over the chart quickly watching the nurse change the drugs in the IV like she was doing something wrong even though she wasn't.

"Yeah, you know him?" The first responder look at me.

"Nah, just sounds familiar." I lied, I knew him. Hell I went to school with him. As good and as honest as they came. I started to work on him as fast and as thorough as I could. They say you shouldn't work on people you know because it clouds your judgement, however, that wasn't the case for me because I was not about to let him die on my table. Four mouths to feed, plus the strays he takes off the street, no way.

I was called to come into the surgery late. They had already been working on him for over 2 hours trying to get the machines to breath for him to keep him alive. It looked like every time they had some success a machine would go off telling them they weren't out of the woods.

I was removing the spleen as the other surgeons were trying to save his limbs and give him blood, however Tulsa was only so big and as I kept working I starting to realize how little of a chance he really had. It was too much for him, his blood pressure was too high, he was bleeding too much, and his brain was too swollen.

"Damn it Curtis listen to me, do not die!" I yelled to him as he started to go into afib. "I will kick you ass just like in high school, you hear me!" I pushed the guy who was holding the paddles out of the way.

"You're kids are counting on you right now!" I yelled as I shocked him. I waited. Nothing.

"Go again," I ordered. "Don't you dare give up 22, what are you scared?" I called like we use to do in the good ole days. I was sure the nurses and other doctors thought I lost it.

"Doctor," the nurse put her hand on Curtis' chest to prevent me from going again. "He's gone. He was gone before they ever got here." She looked like this was just an other patient. "He's gone to be with his wife."

"Mary Ann, she's gone too?" I felt myself getting woozy.

"Time of death 5:36," the doctor to my left called. He placed a clip board on the table signed it and handed it to me. I looked at it in denial for a second.

"shit," I muttered under my breath signing it.

"You get this worked up about every person you don't know?" The first responder make a snarky comment I was not in the mood for.

"Don't you have other parents of four to let die," I physically pushed him past me as I took off my gown. I knew I needed to be the one to tell them. If not for them, for their parents. As I walked down the hall to the waiting room where I knew his kids would be congregated I tried to brace myself. It wasn't like this was the first time I had a parent die. It wasn't the first time that I had a single parent die, and it also wasn't the first time that I had someone I know and care about die. However, it was the first time that someone who once saved me died. All of the preparation in the world would not have been sufficient. These kids already look so distraught. They already looked so broken and tired, and they didn't even have a clue.

As I walked closer they all had already spotted me and stood up eager. I crossed my arms over my chest, stood up tall, and let out a breath.

"We did everything we could, the damage was too severe, we lost him. I am so sorry." I was truly sorry, I didn't think they would ever really know how sorry I really was.

"This is bull shit!" One of the kids yelled much too loud hurling a chair across the room. I didn't blame him for his anger. The youngest boy was crying on a girl I recognized. I recognized the girl right away as Mary, she looked just like her mother. I wondered where Darry Jr. was because he favored Darrel Sr. These kids looked awful, and I didn't know what to do to make them feel better. The one who threw the chair stormed off and two more trailed after him. That left four in the room.

"What now?" Mary asked through teary eyes.

"There will be someone to come talk to you about paper work shortly, please, is there anything we can get you?" I wished they would have told me something.

"They can leave right? Only I need to fill out the paper work?" Mary got her determination form her Daddy. He was a do it yourself kinda guy.

"Yes, we only need one person." I put my hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away. I took the message and left. I was planning on coming back after the hospital records talked to her. I was going to help, somehow. Or at least I thought I was going to.

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After the doctor left I could only handle the crying for a few minutes. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if I should lie and start making stuff up or what. So, I just decided I wanted them gone. I knew that was insensitive of me, and I should have been trying harder to make everyone feel secure, but I was not prepared for this.

"Guys, I want ya'll to go on home. It's more private there we can have more people there, plus I'm sure Darry's going to call when he gets my message, please?" I hoped they wouldn't put up a fight. I was the last person to have authority.

"What about you?" Soda asked me through tears. Sandy was crying too, which I understood because it was so sad, but she wasn't helping Soda at all, in fact Soda was kinda comforting her.

"I'll be home as soon as I fill out those papers." I forced a reassuring smile and kissed Pony's head as they filed out. I sat down in the chair supporting myself with nothing but two fingers on my eyebrows.

"Miss," a lady in a black long skirt and a tucked in blue blouse got my attention. "My name is Nancy I am from the bereavement staff of the hospital. We should go somewhere to talk." I listened and nodded not knowing what else to do. She was nice, she had a real smile, not the fake one I had currently. I guess she was use to dead people. She closed the door behind me an motioned to a seat. "Before we get started can I get you a drink? Coffee, pepsi, water?"

"Coffee would be great," I ran my fingers through my nasty hair. If it were under any other circumstance I would have been appalled at myself for looking like this in public.

"How do you take it?" She asked me.

"With lots of caffeine," I was feeling really nauseous so I closed my eyes. Nancy chuckled at my response, but filled up a cup and but it in front of me with sugar and cream.

"Let me start off by telling you that all of us at the hospital are so sorry for the loss of your parents, and we hope we can assist you in every way possible to make the next few days go as smooth as possible. So, let's just jump right in. You're still a minor, for an other couple months, but since you are the oldest here, my supervisor had no problem with us proceeding as long as you are able." She paused and looked at me. Like I would be any more capable to handle this in a couple of months than I am now. "What we do now if fill out death certificates for both your parents, and I need to collect paper work from you. Marriage certificates, birth certificates of your whole family, and social security cards." She paused and looked at me again. I reached down and pulled out the purple folder. She seemed surprised that I had it, truthfully I was too.

"Have you contacted Darrel Junior?" She looked through the folder.

"I left a message for him, it's kind of hard to track him down at school, but I bet he'll be on his way home soon. It's only an hour drive from here." She nodded.

"That's good, let's hope he gets here before social services," she didn't even look up when she said that.

"Social Services?" I could hear the fear in my own voice.

"Right, they will be notified shortly that there are three minors who are in need of placement of a new home." Now she stopped writing and looked at me.

"Best case only few a few months until you are 18, and you can care for them. With a little luck they may be able to keep ya'll close." My heart felt like it dropped to my stomach.

"What about Darry? He's 19." My head was pulsing.

"Ah, I didn't realize he was an older brother. That's a good point, if he so choose to he should at least be able to apply to temporary custody until a judge can give him full." If he so chose to this lady clearly didn't have a clue.

"When will social services come?" I tried my very best to keep my voice calm. Inside I was starting to freak out, it was all so real.

"It's hard to say, I would say by 9, best guess. They probably haven't been notified yet, at night we are short staffed." I felt sick to my stomach. When she looked away I laid my head on the table. It was cold and it felt good. Darry normally has 6:30 work outs, I remember because he was complaining about that being even earlier than he use to wake up for school. So, assuming his coach got in touch with him and he was on the road by 7 he should be home by 8:30. That was even assuming that the coach got my message in time for practice. The more I thought about it the more I realized how screwed we were.

"Once I get the death certificate signed by the doctor and reviewed by the chief you will be able to contact the funeral home you are looking to do use. It shouldn't take long. Dr. Odell took special interest in your situation, and he already promised me a quick turn around. Since your mother died at the scene here paperwork has already been filled out I just have to get it copied and sealed," she stopped briefly. I couldn't see her because my forehead was still on the table, but I was sure she was looking at me like I was crazy.

"I know this is hard," I felt her arm on my arm. No you don't, I thought about saying. But, I figured there was no point in that, so I just kept my head down.

"Do you want to go get some breakfast, and come back by my office in an hour and I'll have the paper work finished?" I finally picked my head up and agreed. I walked back to the phones I used earlier to call Darry. I put in more change and waiting.

"Hello?" I heard a muffled Steve answer.

"Steve, hey, it's me. Any word from Darry?" I knew I was too hopeful.

"Nope, not a word."

"How's everyone doing?"

"Just Peachy," even though he was hurting I wanted to strangle him. I hated his dry sense of humor.

"Put Two-bit on," it hadn't even occurred to me that Two-bit might not be there, I was glad he was there.

"Hey Mary." Two-bit sounded so tired. If Two-bit sounded this bad there was no telling how bad everyone else sounded.

"Hey, listen to me, we have a problem that I need you to help me with, with out telling anyone. I don't want anyone to freak out so just say yeah, and okay, but don't say much so they catch on, okay?" I didn't know where theses problem solving skills that I recently developed came from, but they were certainly useful.

"Okay." He was being obedient.

"Social Services was called, and if they beat Darry home they are going to take us away because we are minors. I need you and the guys to clean up the place, make it damn near spotless, I need you to come get me so I can be there when they get there, and I need you to get your mom to come over so it looks like she's babysitting us. Do you think she would be okay with that?" My heart was pounding as hard as my head was spinning.

"Okay Mary, I'll be there in ten," and he hung up.I wondered what he was going to do, but I decided I at least had to have a little faith in him. Out of nerves I was running my hands over and over something that was in my pocket, and when I pulled it out I realized it was the Pastors number. I thought for a second before I reached for the phone. I was secretly hoping I would miss him and he wouldn't answer, but when he did I struggled with my words.

"Er, this is Mary Curtis, I met you a few hours ago uh," I stammered, and he stepped in.

"Ah, Mary, so glad you called, what is it I can do for you?" He sounded so kind and honest, I hadn't even realized those were qualities that you could hear in a person until just now.

"Both my parents died, and I'm gonna need help with the funeral, and I haven't even been to a funeral, I just don't know who else to call sir." I heard my voice crack and I felt my self start to break down. I rolled my eyes at myself for being such a baby.

"I would be happy to help, are you still at the hospital, can I meet you?"

"No, I'm headed home. Social services is coming by soon, and I need to make sure I'm there before she is." I assumed it was a she, but I honestly had no idea.

"I see, well would it be alright if I came to your home? I know a thing or two about Funerals. I'll make a few calls and be right over." He seemed so sure of himself, I really respected that. Because I was not certain of a damn thing.

"Sure," I told him my address and went outside to wait for Two-bit.

a/n: How's it going? DId you like the scene with the doctor? Let me know what you're thinking? I have traffic stats saying people are reading... so tell me what you think! how is the length? Longer, shorter what do you like?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N.. This is chapter 6 and I still haven't heard any feed back... Should I stop? Is it worth continuing?

I drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital I was not about to have some bitch from social services tare whats left of the Curtis family apart. I had the windows down and the radio on trying to distract me from what ever I was feeling. I couldn't pin point it. It was a combination of anger, worry, and all around sadness. I had never been like this before. I had never been around people who were crying and not being able to make them feel better. I had never let myself cry in front of other people like this and not feel ashamed.

I saw Mary standing in front of the hospital, she gave me a smile as she got in, "Thanks," was all she had to say and I knew it.

"Need a smoke?" I asked her lighting one for myself.

"Got anything stronger?" She asked taking it. I didn't know if I should laugh or what so I just raised my eye brow and didn't say anything. "Was your mom okay with coming over?"

"Oh, are you kidding, she insisted. She was baking the second I brought her over. Expect to gain 10 pounds," I nudged her arm before I started again. "You'd be proud because the boys are all cleaning, good ole Stevie is even cleaning the bathroom!" She did smile a little.

"What'd you tell them?" Besides her hair and her clothes she really didn't look that bad. Her face wasn't all puffy or her eyes weren't blood shot. Was it possible that she was really this okay?

"I told them the state was going to come by to check in and the place had to be clean." They didn't say much to that. Dallas even helped for a little, but you know him. He had to get out to burn some steam." I worried about Dally, because he was so hard and tough, but the Curtis' dying was like his own parents dying, but maybe even worse. He wasn't one to sit down and mourn either, he was going to do something stupid. She nodded her head, but was silent. When we pulled into the drive I got out and she was a little behind me.

"Go on in," I wasn't sure what she was going to do, but I listened. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her puking in the bushes. I thought about going back out, but I figured it was the least I could do to listen to her. I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek as I got in the kitchen. I made a promise to myself that I would pay more attention to her. I wasn't really a man of my word, but I planned on keeping this one.

"Mrs. Mathews, thank you so much for coming!" Mary had a great big smile on her face. I was impressed.

"Mary, please, anything I can do! I can play house until Darry gets home, and even longer if need be. Don't worry!" She gave Mary a hug.

"I'm going to take a shower, I'll be able to kiss some ass better if I don't look homeless," Mary smiled again walking to the bathroom. I sat on the chair watching her amazed. I was use to chicks crying for breaking a nail. What exactly was Mary up to? She took the worlds fastest shower, and got ready in about 5 minutes. I had never seen a greaser girl put there face on that fast in my life. I guess it is true, life as we knew it was over.

"You look nice," my mom spoke up so I didn't have to say anything. Right before Mary answered the phone rang. Mary ran across the room to answer it.

"Hello?" There was hope in her voice. I wondered what she was hoping for so I could hope for it too. "Yes, Coach, thanks for calling me back. He's on his way, great thanks. Oh I will have him call you, sure. You take care now," Mary hung up the phone rubbing her forehead.

"What?" I asked right before Soda and Steve came in. Steve was cutting he grass at 8 in the morning. I think he was really just trying to keep busy because the grass wasn't even that high.

"Darry just left, he won't be home for an hour or so," Mary was whispering, but I wasn't all that sure why she was whispering.

"Honey, I'm not going anywhere," my mom hugged her. About that same time there was a knock on the front door. Everyone's head turned.

"Ain't it a little early for them preachers to be trying to save us hoods? When are they gonna realize we're a lost cause?" Steve questioned.

"That's the same one from the hospital, stupid," I don't know why I insulted him it just happened. He glared at me, I shrugged

"He's going to help me prepare the funeral," Mary stood up and walked outside. She slid between a little opening and sat him on the swing. I was ease dropping the best I could, but at this time all the cleaning was now complete so we were all watching some television.

They both talked for a while, almost an hour. I heard them both laugh a few times, but mostly I just heard him talking. When I heard a second car pull up, I turned back the blinds and saw a beat up old white ford. That had to be the state. The preacher and some old lady shook hands, then Mary brought her in.

"Guys, this is Mrs. Smith, she's with the state," Mary introduced. We all stood up and were watching her.

"Boys where are your manners, introduce yourself!" Mom looked to us. She then walked over to Mrs. Smith. "You'll have to excuse them they have all had a very tragic day, and it is hardly 9!" My mom shook her hand. She smiled, she seemed nice enough, maybe she'd cut them some slack.

"What can I get you to drink?" Mary asked her.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," she smiled again. "Mind if I take a quick look around?" She asked. Marry told her it wasn't a problem. While she was snooping I heard Pony ask Mary what was going to happen, and Mary, just kept saying it was going to be fine. Finally Mrs. Smith came back. "I want to make this as quick and as painless as possible. I am not the bad guy here." She spoke up. I could see Pony trembling. Soda was looking awfully pale himself.

"We appreciate that," Mary spoke up.

"I am afraid that none of you are 18, and considering you no longer are under the care of your parents you have become what we call responsibilities of the state. So, what we do now is place you in a temporary emergency home until we can find you a more permanent placement." She spoke like a robot with no emotion. Pony was crying now in the arms on my mom, Soda was trying to argue. What Mary did next was bold, especially for her.

"Ma'am, may I please talk to you outside for a quick moment?" Mary opened the door. I followed them out. "My older brother is on his way home from college now he's 19. He should be here in less than an hour. Until then Mrs. Mathews is here, she's a family friend, and a nurse at the hospital. I know you are just doing your job, so please help us." Mary begged.

"I want to I do, but I can't leave you all here alone, it's the law." She started, but Mary tried again.

"With all do respect, I will be 18 in 4 months. I know technically 4 months is a long time, but in the last 8 hours, I identified my mothers dead body, I told my little brothers she was dead, I called my oldest brother from school leaving a message with his school, I filled out the paper work for the death certificates, and I met with the pastor who helped me set up a funeral home. I have grown enough in the last 8 hours to make up for a couple months!" Mrs Smith looked as surprised as me at Mary just then.

"I know that must be very stressful for you, but truthfully it's not you, or even Soda we are worried about, it is Pony. He is at a fragile age." Mrs. Smith did impress me by knowing at least a little about their family.

"Right, I agree, but Pony, he is so sensitive. He's shy and he scares easily. If you placed him in an other home right now, right about out parents just died, he would fall apart. He needs to be with us, we have to heal together. You are looking out for our best interest right? I'm telling you he would not make it if you pulled him away now." I knew the saying was that you would fight until you were blue in the face, but Mary was white in the face, but it worked. Mrs. Smith agreed.

"I can tell you have it under control, so I'll tell you what I do. I will sign over the minors to you, only until Darry gets here. The second he walks in the door you call me. If I do not get a phone call by 12 I will remove ya'll by force if need be." She handed Mary a pen and she signed something quickly and she was gone. Mary took three steps in threw up in the grass right beside the steps.

"Steve's gonna be pissed he just cut that," Mary spat a little before facing me.

"I'm impressed," I told her truthfully.

"Yeah, well, don't tell anyone." She told me. We talked back in the house. Steve and Soda were pacing, Pony was still clinging onto my mom.

"What happened?" Soda asked.

"I told you I'd handle it," Mary told them with confidence. I would have believed her too if I hadn't just watched her throw up. "Come 'mere," Mary opened her arms. Soda and Pony both hugged her. Pony was crying uncontrollably, Soda was sobbing too, but not to the same degree Pony was. "It's not fair," Pony cried out. Watching them was unbearable. My mom had alligator tears streaming down her face. "If they took us away, I'd.. I'd" Pony stuttered but the front door swinging open turned all the heads. Lord and behold if it weren't Darry.

"Guys," Darry dropped his bag. He was red in the face like he hadn't stopped for taking a breath.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here," Darry grabbed Pony and Soda. Mary moved to the kitchen. The three of them cried as Darry kept repeating, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"I'm going to give you boys some time, I'm headed to work, but Two-bit will come get me if ya'll need anything, you hear me?" She stroked Mary's back pulling on her long blonde hair.

"Thanks so much for everything," Mary told her. My mom gave my arm a squeeze too, as I walked her out I took an other look at the Curtis brothers.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Pony can you go grab a shower, and then we'll eat when you get out?" I draped my arm over him as he stood up. "Soda why don't you and Sandy go get some fresh air," Sandy grabbed Soda's arm and lead him outside. That still left Steve and Two-bit on the couch, but I figured that was okay.

"Dar," I started, he turned and looked at me. He looked so lost I felt so badly. He probably hadn't known for hardly two hours. "I'm sorry you found out the way you did."

He looked at me red eyed pale face, "but, we have so much we have to do, so we have to power through today the best we can." It was like the second I said that a light flickered and he got tuff. "The state came by, because we are all minors they wanted to take us, but since I'm almost 18, and you're already 19 they gave us temporary custody, but you have to call this number, and she'll come by you'll have to sign some papers. If you decide you want to do more than temporary custody then we'll have to go to court." Darry blinked hard then put his left hand over his eyes.

"This all went to hell pretty quick," he mumbled.

"I have to go back to the hospital to get the death certificates before I go to the funeral home," I sighed and went to sit on the coffee table in front of where Darry was sitting.

"Shit," let out a long exhale looking to Two-bit and Steve.

"It'll get easier," I said when no one else spoke. "I mean you just found out, what two hours ago! We drug Two-bit out of bed at 3 am." I forced a smile.

"I sure hope so," he didn't look at me or anything but the floor.

"I need to go pick out clothes for the funeral, then I gotta get back to the hospital, I told them I was just getting something to eat," I stood walking to their room, "Ya'll go ahead and eat okay?"

Our parents door was never closed, and I had been in it a million times, but everything was so different this time. When I touched anything in their room I felt like I was doing something wrong. I felt so out of place. I tried to make this as emotionless as possible. I just picked out the outfits they both wore the most often. It wasn't like they had a ton of clothes anyway. I didn't want to pick their Sunday bests because I assumed that was too fancy, so I just went with a little more casual. Grabbing undergarments and a couple other things I walked out closing the door behind me. I had no intention of going back in there. I laid everything on the back of my dad's chair and went into the kitchen to sit down with everyone for a minute. No one was talking, or really eating. Not that I blamed them. I wasn't about to eat.

"Hey," I smiled. I kept feeling the need to smile because I figured if I didn't then no one ever would, and we didn't live in a family short of smiles. We were all about the smiles.I looked to Steve and Two-bit who were also at a loss for words.

"Ya'll should play football or go to a movie or something, don't sit here all day it'll be miserable," I suggested. "Darry and I have old people stuff today, so it's up to ya'll to make your own fun, I bet if you're lucky Two-bit'll think of something. Maybe it'll be legal, who knows," I winked at Two-bit.

"I make no promises," Two-bit starting listing off things to do.

"Darry, can you call the school and tell them what happened?" I whispered in his ear. "It'll sound better coming from you than me."

"Yeah, I didn't even think of that," he admitted.

"Okay, I've gotta go," I told them walking towards the door.

"Ain't you scared to go alone?" Pony asked me.I thought for a second before I turned around and looked at him. It wasn't just Pony who looked at me though, it was everyone.

"I'l let you in on a secret why I'm not scared," I put my elbows on the table a few inches away from him. "They spent 18 years taking care of me. Doing things they didn't want to do for me, so I figure now its my turn." Pony's face relaxed a little and I kept talking.

"You think they always knew what they were doing, or that they liked all of it? Definitely not, but they did the best they could, and that's what were going to do. We're gonna be tough, and do what we don't want to do for a little while, but hopefully after a while we'll be okay," with a kiss on the cheek I left the house. "Steady Mary, steady." I told myself when I started to break down.

"Mary," Nancy called to me as she got closer.

"Hi," I greeted her back. I was hoping she would be quick.

"I have the papers right here, and a condolence package from the hospital," she really did look nice. I felt badly for having such anger towards her, but I did.

"Wow, I really appreciate it," I took it from her then we kind of stood there uncomfortably. "I'm going to the funeral home after this. Hopefully I'll be able to get this all figured out." By this I meant how the hell we were going to pay for this and what did they even want.

"I wish you luck," she gave me a pity look I was soon to get use to, and then I turned and left.

I hadn't the slightest idea how to get to this funeral home, so I just started down the direction the pastor told me the best I could. His directions were pretty spot on, after only one wrong turn I was there. Piece of cake. I had this feeling I couldn't quite explain. I wasn't scared, or sad. I wasn't sick or in pain. It was more like I was just in the lull. Like, I was in a cloud or a fog. I didn't feel like myself, I felt like I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what I felt or what I should feel. Still, I got out of the car and walked to the little run down building. Once I opened the doors an elderly man greeted me. "Mary Curtis?" He questioned.

"That's me," I stuck out my hand and he hugged me. At first I thought that was weird, but after a second I appreciated it.

"It's such a shame when they pass in such an ungodly way. Unfair to say the least, yet here we are," he let go of me and we started down a hallway decorated with many flowers. "You have any visions you saw for the service?"

"Uh, no." I don't even know what a vision is.

"What about the will? Did they specify? Some womenfolk are picky. They didn't get to pick how they came in the world so they'll be damned if they get to pick how they leave." I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh.

"No, I don't think they thought much about death. They never wrote anything down, or talked about it. My parents weren't the planning ahead type." Never until now had I looked at that as a bad thing.

"Ah, not a problem that just makes you hold the power. Let's start with budget, do you have a number you have in mind?" I appreciated that he didn't beat around the bush.

"Not to be a tight wad, but as cheap as we can make it, with out disrespecting them." He nodded like he knew what I meant.

"The normal price of a funeral in around 700 dollars, but that is with many bells and whistles. We can easily make it half that," he paused and looked to see what I thought.

"Could we half it again?" I had a good bit of money saved up from work, and I was sure Darry had some too, but I didn't have any idea what kind of money was in the bank, and I didn't think we should touch it anyway. Especially since we were going to be tight until Darry got a job.

"Ah, I see." The difference between him saying that and Nancy was I believed he actually did get it.

"We just want something to put them to rest in. We can have a service or something at our home if we find it necessary,but we can't afford the flowers, the music, doves, fountains, or whatever else is needed." He looked like he had something to say. "What?"

"Honey, you need this to be closed casket. That cuts out having to have someone make them up, which in serious accidents like theirs, is nearly impossible." I didn't like the idea of closed casket. I wanted to see them again. But, then I thought about how bad mom looked, I wouldn't want anyone to remember her that way.

"Closed casket it is." I agreed. He wrote that down then moved on.

"So, that leaves the casket. You're in luck because they are not especially large and won't need a special order. The more standard caskets are cloth caskets, but the more modern ones are steel. Until about 10 years ago all that was used were cloth covered caskets. However, steel ones are less expensive for the most part. They still look like the old caskets, they just don't feel the same," he lead me down the hallway further and showed me three. They looked similar, so I again chose the cheapest one.

"Okay, that leaves clothing and jewelry," he told me taking what I had in my hand looking at it and again nodding.

"The watch on your father, and the necklace of your mother, do you want them to be buried in it?"

"Yes," I answered, maybe too fast, but they never took them off so I figured they deserved to keep them.

"Wedding rings too?" He asked me. Again I could tell he was keeping something.

"What?" I asked again. Maybe a little more annoyed this time.

"Money being as tight as it is, I may recommend keeping it, at least for now. I suggest not looking at is as taking it from them, but instead providing for your family. It's closed casket, mind you, no one will see they aren't wearing it."

"They never took off their rings. They bought each other the necklace and watch. It was the only nice thing they owned." I told him. He nodded again, but spoke up.

"So then wouldn't it be a shame for it to be wasted like that?" He asked me. I thought about what he said, and agreed after a long moment.

"Keep it in the family," he pulled a bag out of his pocket and placed in my hand. He already knew I wanted to keep it. I was impressed.

"Are they here?" I whispered. That was much faster than I expected. But I guess it had been almost 12 hours.

"They are. They got here moments before you did," he nodded his head as I held the bag he handed me with out looking at it. "They aren't in any condition for you to see them Ms. Curtis." He made my skin crawl the way he called me.

'"it's Mary, please," I corrected and he agreed.

"Now, it's just up to you to design the bulletin while we wait on the pastor to come talk to you about the type of service," he handed me a stack of about 30 examples, I started flipping through them already feeling so overwhelmed. Some of them had bible verses, some had stories, some even had pictures. How could I summarize their life on a folded piece of paper? Could I even find a picture of them? What stories could I tell? Who was even going to come to this? I started to get upset as I kept reading. The survived by part on the paper felt like a stab in the gut.

"Mary, take a your time. Do you need a break?" He put his hand on my back guiding me to a seat.

"Yeah, I think I'll go outside in smoke if you don't mind?" I stood up he stepped back from me.

"Take your time," he walked the other direction. I thought it was stupid how I had been fine through everything else until the bulletins. I leaned up against the building pulling out my kools and a lighters. I watched the cancer stick shake in my hands. I tried to steady them enough to light it. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I think some of it was from exhaustion. Maybe, same was from the smoke I was inhaling. I stood in the sun with my face in the direction of the warmth. I loved this time of year in Tulsa. It was hot, but no longer miserable. I felt the sunshine on my cheeks warm me up, I hadn't even noticed I was cold until now. My mom always said there was something healing about being in the sun. I couldn't have agreed more, I turned and went back in. I was there for an other two hours. But I was in such a blur. I met with the pastor I met in the hospital and we talked about my parents so he would know more about them. That way he could make the funeral more personal. He handed me a bible with the passages highlighted that he would read. He told me to look over them and get back to me tomorrow. That's the same thing the elder man from before told me about the bulletin. He told me to make sure I had an obituary for the paper by the end of the day, and he suggested the funeral was the day after tomorrow at noon. I had no objections, truthfully I just wanted to leave. Little did I know things back home weren't going much better.


	7. Chapter 7

I wondered how long the human body could cry until it simply ran out of water. I think we all moved past the initial stage of crying, I think the shock wore off. Now there was just a wave of not knowing how to react. What should we be doing? I needed to make phone calls, but should I do them in front of the kids? That's what they were, kids. But we were all growing up faster by the second. Mary was out there in the real world planning a funeral. I was making a to do list.

1) call the state

2) look over finances

3) find a job

4) call Meghan

5) Call the school

6) call my school to with drawl.

My list kept growing by the second. Calling the state was easy enough, Mary apparently had already signed the needed paper work, and she had already done the house inspection, she told me she'd call back after 72 hours.

This felt like the longest day. It was hardly noon, and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to use the phone and I couldn't do so freely with everyone around me in the living room. After thinking it over I went to take the phone to Mom and Dad's room. They had a cable. The phone use to always be in there, but once we got older we started to use it too, so they moved it out to the living room.

"I've got to make some calls guys," I told them standing up. They nodded so I knew they heard me. They were half playing cards and half watching T.V. Pony was asleep on Soda's lap, Two-bit was pretending to sleep, or he at least had his eyes closed.

I started by looking at the finances. I wanted to know how much money my parents had saved, and what kind of bills we had to pay. How did I even find out that information? Could I call up the bank or did I have to go to the bank? Would they eventually call me? I didn't think I was ready to go to the bank just yet, I imagined myself telling a bank teller my parents died, and I didn't like the way I imagined it went in my head so I decided to not handle it right now. I didn't want to call my coach and tell him I had to withdraw, I knew he would understand, but I wasn't ready to do that just yet either. Everything on my list I wasn't ready to do, so what was I suppose to do?

I had this reputation for being so tuff, and that I could handle anything, but there is a big difference in loosing your parents, and gaining 3 kids. There is so much shit involved. It's not clear cut what to do. After thinking it over I got back up and I went to sit and half do what ever my family was doing. Because after all, we are still a family. I sat on the end of the couch beside Pony who was no longer asleep.

"Soda, my parents are here, I have to go, but I'll call you tonight okay? Evie and I will be back," She kissed his cheek then gave all of a wave leaving. Soda stood up and paced around the kitchen for a minute. I knew he was putting on a face for Pony. I hated he felt like he had to do that, but I also appreciated it. Pony never fell asleep, Soda never calmed down, Two-bit never payed attention to his hand, Steve never called him on it, and then Mary walked in the house looking like she had just been hit by a train. Truthfully, I had been a little worried it was getting awfully late. Her face did soften when she saw all of us though.

"If it isn't Tulsa's finest," she kissed Pony, hugged Soda, and moved to the kitchen.

"Where ya been all day?" Two-bit asked half interested in the bag that she put on the table.

"Well, apparently planning a funeral is much more complicated than it sounds," Mary let out a sigh turing on the coffee. When did she start liking coffee?

"You don't say? I woulda thought you just dig a hole and," Steve started then stopped realizing we were talking about our parents.

"Yeah, you'd think," she agreed opening the fridge."Hey Pone?" She asked him and he looked up to her.

"How are ya doing?" All of us looked at him when she asked.

"I'm okay, I guess," he shrugged. It must have been good enough for her, because she kept talking.

"How would you feel about writing the obituary to go in the paper tomorrow? Id need it by 4," despite everything Mary still had the sparkle in her eye.

"I guess I can do it," he sounded hesitant. Mary started to talk, but I beat her to it.

"You don't have to, if you can't or don't want to, you don't have to. We can do it." I wanted to help contribute I wanted to help.

"Exactly. I just figured you could write better than the rest of us, I'd ask," She started pulling things out of the bag.

"What's that Santa?" Steve now seemed even less interested in the cards.

"I had to swing by work to ask off for today, it woulda been real nice if Darry woulda told Meghan, or at least told me you hadn't told her!" Mary was talking to the whole group then turned to me. I had completely forgotten to tell her.

"Uho," Two-bit laughed, "You're gonna be in the creek!"

"Yeah, so when I told the boss he gave me all this food, so just eat it while it's hot," she stepped back as everyone, including Pony, stood up. I was glad he was going to eat.

"I meant to call her," I could feel my eyes widen the more I thought about it. Why didn't I call her? Why didn't I want her here like Sandy was?

Mary looked at me for a second, "I told her you just found out yourself." I could tell Mary was trying to make me feel better.

"I've had some other things on my mind," I muttered, which was true, I had. No one saidanything, I wasn't even sure they heard. Everyone walked towards the bag of food, I hoped it would make things feel normal again, but it didn't. I was starting to loose hope on if we'd ever be normal again.

"So, I've got to finish the bulletin for the service, but what do ya'll think about funeral day after tomorrow at noon?" I looked around at all the guys seeing different emotions. Pony just looked like he was doing everything he could to not cry, but he wasn't succeeding. Steve looked border line pissed, Soda looks so damn sad. Mary didn't express a single emotion. Her face was as blank as a canvas.

"Noon, well damn, I'm not sure I'll be up that early," Two-bit pulled us all back to reality.

"I thought about that too, but that's what time the guy recommended. I figured he knows his stuff," Mary laughed at Two-bit comment. Her cheeks turned a soft pink when she laughed, just like Mom's.

"What guy?" Soda asked through a mouth full of burger.

"Ya know, I'm not sure I ever got his name? He's a real old guy, real nice, I liked him." She shrugged thinking about it. We all kind of ate in silence. The T.V. was going, but no one was listening. There wasn't anything to say. It was too early to joke, but we were all tired of crying and being sad. Mary started picking up the trash and throwing everything away. Everyone else just went back into the living room.

"Mary," I stopped her before she went back to her room. "Sit for a while, do the bulletins later," she paused then turned back around sitting on the couch in between Soda and me. Pony went back to work on his obituary, which was good, Mary had to give that to the paper tonight.

"You know what's funny," Soda broke the silence.

"I went to bed last night thinking my biggest was problem was Mary walking in on Sandy and me," Soda got a good laugh out of everyone including Mary.

"Here?" I was surprised he'd be that bold.

"Yeah, Pony wasn't here, Mary was at work, mom and dad were driving! We thought it was the perfect time, until Mary came home early!"

"I bet Sandy just loved that!" Steve laughed too.

"She was pretty pissed, even when Mary told her she didn't care!" Soda had a grin of pride on his face.

"Yeah, well like I said, you aren't children," Mary was shaking her head. "I didn't even see her leave she was so fast!"

"That's the new do and dash," Two-bit contributed to the conversation.

"Not hardly! When you went to answer the phone she left. Wouldn't even let me drive her!" Soda was still laughing, so was everyone else.

"That's right, I went to get the phone, It was Darry actually!" Mary pointed to me.

"Yeah, you're right. I went to bed that night worrying about you." I said that night finding it hard to believe it was just last night.

"Mary, what do you possibly have to worry about with her!" Steve nudged her foot on the coffee table. In return she knocked his feet all the way off with one push.

"Mom told me to talk to you, and when I called you sounded a little off," I had completely forgot about that until now.

"I had just worked for 8 hours, and" Mary started before Two-bit cut in.

"And walked in on her little brother having sex!"

"Almost, having sex," Soda corrected. I rolled my eyes.

"And there's that," Mary patted Soda's stomach.

"It only brought us closer," Soda pulled on Mary's hair. "What about you Mary? What was your biggest worry until this morning?"

She thought for a second, then right before she started Steve interrupted, "Please, what does Ms. Goodie goodie have to worry about!"

"Franki and I broke up," Mary shot Steve a cold look.

"Aw, Mary," Soda looked shocked. I would have been too if Meghan hadn't mentioned. "What happened?"

"Uh, we just had different plans I guess," Mary shrugged. "I'm fine, don't worry," she laughed it off.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I was trying to remember what exactly Meghan said. She mentioned it so casually I didn't give it much mind. Mary looked at me surprised at first then smiled.

"Of course not, it just wasn't working out. None of ya'll were too fond if him anyway, so what's the problem?" Mary didn't seem upset she honestly didn't seem like she cared at all.

"Don't sweat it, I'm sure it's for the better," Soda gave her a reassuring squeeze. I wasn't sure I believe it was that simple, but I went along.

"I'm not, let's talk about someone else okay?" Mary tried to change the subject.

"You'll find someone better, princess," Two-bit had a goofy look on his face when he said that.

"Princess?" Steve almost spat out his drink.

"What did Dallas tell you?" Mary swung her head to Two-bit. She looked a mix of annoyed and scared.

"Just that you didn't get your happily ever after, why what else would he have told me?" he winked at her and she turned a little red in the face. I had a feeling there was more to that story.

"Yeah, yeah," Mary rolled her eyes. I started to get why my mom wanted me to talk to her now.

"Mary!" Pony called from his room. He didn't sound upset like he had earlier, but I really worried about him. He was going to be the one who would be the most impacted by the recent events. I didn't have the slightest idea on how to soften the blow either. Maybe Mary did. She stood up looking a little pale herself.

When Mary was out of sight I turned back to Two-bit, "What'd Dally really tell you?"

Two-bit laughed a little probably because he was uncomfortable, "Dar, we were just messing around, ya know just trying to lighten the mood!" I didn't believe him, but none of us were in any condition to fight right now. I sighed listening to Mary and Pony talk.

"Pony, I can do it it's fine," I heard a muffled Mary say calmly. Pony's voice wasn't calm.

"I just wanted to help," I heard Pony's cry and so did everyone else, although no one moved.

"By being here, you are helping all of us!" I knew Mary was trying to help him, but we heard a crash. Soda was quick to his feet, but I stopped him.

"Let Mary get this," I told him. He didn't sit down but he stayed put. I knew if we all walked in there right now we would just embarrass him. Even though he's only 13, he hates being the baby.

"When the time's right you'll know how to help. Right now, you have to let us help you!" Mary was yelling a little now too.

"Why are you okay? Even Dally cried in the hospital!" Pony hissed. I knew he was just lashing, but it was still a bit much. I had a hard time imagining Dally crying.

"Everyone deal with things differently Pony, you know that!" Mary tired again. "You're not doing anything wrong, this doesn't make you any less tuff. You have to be honest with us, about how you're feeling." Mary was pleading with him.

"Then be honest with me Mary, what happens after the funeral." My heart stopped when he asked that.

"Should we be ease dropping like this?" Two-bit spoke and I shushed him.

"It'll be hard, but somehow we'll come up with a plan to try to keep on living."

"I heard Steve tell Two-bit that the state'll make Darry drop out if he tries to keep up. He can't do that. Dad wouldn't have wanted him to quit his dream!" I shot Two-bit a glare before I felt my eyes glaze a little. I blinked to make it go away, but I felt his comment in my gut. I started to move towards the room, but this time Soda stopped me.

"I'm going to talk to Darry about all that babe, I am, and we'll work something out for all of us. Hey, I'll be 18 in 4 months. I ain't going anywhere you hear me?" She paused I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. "Now, dry those tears and kick Steve's ass in poker will ya? He deserves it for saying stuff he knows nothing about." Mary came out of the room stone cold face with a wet blouse.

"Darry," She picked up the keys and motioned for me to follow her out. Neither of us spoke while she drove. Then the next thing I knew she pulled over on the shoulder of the road.

"What's the plan?" Was all she said.

"I'm not letting the state take you if that's what you mean." I said as flatly as she had asked.

"This isn't going to be easy," Mary started. "What are you going to do? Take Dad's job? You know you'll hate it. Pony's right Dar, this is your dream and you can't let it go. We can do foster home for 4 months." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How could you even ask that?" I slammed my hand against the window in frustration. "Ya'll are my family! Ya'll are all that matters!" She didn't say anything her eyes were fixed on the road.

"All I'm saying is college is your way out, no one will blame you if you take it. You deserve it." She kept her cool. Her and Soda had that in common. Both of them knew how to hold their temper. My dad, Pony, and I didn't.

"What about you three? What do you think ya'll deserve, cause it sure as hell ain't foster homes." I tried to level my tone, but I was unsuccessful.

"Then you're going to have to get it together Darry. Get a job, call the state, apply for guardianship, call the bank, figure out the money, and Darry," she stopped talking I knew what she was going to say."Talk to your coach," she finished. I blinked back some tears I knew she saw, but she acted like she didn't. I was avoiding that call like the plague.

"I'm sorry," she hugged me.

"You didn't do anything wrong," I whispered.

"That doesn't make me any less sorry that you're having to give up everything." She kissed my cheek and turned back on the car. We drove back home in silence. Right before we walked in the house she grabbed my arm, I could tell she had been thinking.

"Dar, you've got temporary custody take the couple weeks to think about what you want to do," I started to object but she stopped me. "There's no harm in thinking."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mary and Darry walked back in the house looking mad at each other. Darry quickly noticed Meghan.

"Meghan," he said when he saw her. She stood up and walked to him. "I'm so sorry," he grabbed her hands.

"Don't worry about it, how are you?" She pulled him to the couch. Mary moved to the kitchen spreading out papers on the kitchen table and started a pot of coffee.

I watched her work for a while. I understood what Pony meant, I wanted to help, I felt so helpless, but I didn't think there was much I could do. I went in and talked to Pony a while after Mary and Darry left, but there wasn't much anyone could say.

"He just needs time, you all just need time," Sandy assured me. Sandy standing by me since the middle of the night gave me even more assurance that she's the one.

"Did Pony go to bed?" Darry asked.

"Yeah."

"We should probably go," Two-bit spoke up. "I'd hate my family to forget what I look like," He patted Darry on the back.

"I don't think that's possible, you're pretty hard to forget," Steve grinned following him out with Johnny trailing behind.

Even though I knew Meghan and Darry cared about each other and I cared about Sandy, we all sat there pretty uncomfortable. It was like we were just waiting on all of this to be official, we didn't know what we were doing.

"You need something stronger than the coffee?" Meghan asked Mary walking to the fridge.

"That'd be great," Mary stood up and went to sit on the counter away from all of the papers.

"Who knew it was this hard to make a flyer," Meghan looked at all of the examples on the paper.

"I'm probably making it harder than it is, it's just that we are doing so little, its a minimal cost funeral, the parts we do, I want to be perfect," Mary opened her drink and leaned back against the cabinet.

"To a better tomorrow," Meghan held up the drink.

"And every day after that," Mary added as they toasted.

"I'm sorry about Franki," Meghan put her hand on Mary's knee. I could tell from here that Mary was uncomfortable.

"Honestly it's the last thing on my mind." Mary told her.

"Doesn't make the hurt go away though, does it?" I glanced over to Darry who was watching as hard as I was.

"I'm fine," Mary spoke firmly.

"Yeah, I know you are, but don't you wish he was here?"

"My life is starting over, and it's good he's not in it, will you excuse me, I need to smoke," Mary jumped down and walked outside before she could respond. Dally and Johnny walked in as they walked out. They acknowledged eachother, but Mary was quick to get out.

Once Mary was gone, I walked back over to the table where she had been working.I picked up the obituary and read it I got goosebumps when I did. She was so talented. Darry noticed me looking at it and he came over, he picked it up looked at it and the back to me.

"Looks like I'm the only one in the family who ain't very bright," I tried to make a joke. I wasn't ashamed of being dumb, because I knew I knew what I needed to know for real life, which didn't include writing and arithmetic. "Did you know she could write that good?" I asked him as Steve and Two-bit looked over to see what we were talking about.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

"The obituary," Darry said when I didn't. I hated that word. She was so formal when she said their names and listed all of ours for surviving them. Then when she explained their accomplishments she used humor, hotel manager, nurse, judge, wrestling match referee, and others that made me smile thinking about it, but the more I thought the more my smile faded and turned into sadness. I didn't like only having the memories. Darry must have felt the same way because she because he gave me a reassuring squeeze. I wondered how he could act like he knew what was going to happen. Before I had much time to think about it I saw head lights pull up outside the drive. Two-bit already pulled the blinds up to see who it was.

"Its Franki," Two-bit said surprised. He then cracked a joke about being a lost soul, but none of us listened.

"Don't ease drop on her!" Meghan swatted at us, but we already were.

"This oughtta be good," Dally stuck his fingers through the blinds.

A/N I already made the next chapter too, lemme know what you're thinking so I can see if I need to do many changes!


	8. Chapter 8

"Franki," Mary said when he got close.

"Mary, I am so sorry," he started to touch her but she pulled away.

"What are you sorry about Franki?" He stuttered for a second.

"For your parents," he leaned against the railing. She didn't respond right away, she looked at him.

"Yeah, well, at least your sorry for something," she stood up and he watched her closely.

"Jesus, Mary, what do you want me to say, huh? I came here to be a good guy, and you're not making it easy!"

"Aw, poor Franki, I'm not making things easy for you!" She looked away from him and he grabbed her arm, she pulled back, "You, Franki, you," she started than paused. "I don't have time for you.''

"You seem mad." I rolled my eyes when he said that, what did she ever see in him?

"I've got stuff on my mind other than you, believe it or not." She added a little bit of a tone. I was rooting for her in my head.

"I'll go out there," I suggested.

"She doesn't need her little brother coming to the rescue, she's a big girl," Steve pointed out. I knew he was at least partially right, I just didn't know what part. I went back to listening to them.

"Let me help, let's go for a ride," he suggested. She turned and walked back towards the house, we all hurried to get away from the window and were pretty successful. She didn't really notice.

"I"m going to drop off the obituary," Mary told us walking back outside walking towards Franki's car before any of us could say anything.

"You were saying?" I turned back to Steve.

"How the hell was I suppose to know that she'd get in the car with him?" Steve threw his hands in the air.

"She didn't even drink her beer!" Two-bit picked it up shocked before finishing it off.

"Darry, go after her," Meghan spoke up. Her face looked red we all looked at her trying to figure it out. I mean sure, I didn't want her to be in the car with him, but he was a jerk, not a serial killer.

"What's gonna happen on the way to deliver the obituary?" Darry didn't seem too worried either.

"Darry," she whispered, like that was suppose to mean something. Sandy did that sometimes too, she just expected me to read her mind!

"I can't exactly chase her down Meghan! She isn't on her bike" Darry laughed, but Meghan didn't.

"He broke her heart," Megan glared at Darry.

"You're worrying too much sunshine, her heart ain't broke, if it were we'd know because chicks bitch about that shit all the time! Trust me on this one." Two-bit got up to throw away his bottle.

"He did everything he had to do to sleep with her because his buddy thought it wasn't possible, it was all a joke to him." Meghan pushed Two-bit hard enough to make him have to take a step.

"If that's the case then why would she have gotten in the car with him, huh? She ain't stupid," Steve didn't buy it either. I didn't know what to think. Darry didn't know what to say, no one did. He had a puzzled but serious look on his face.

"I guess we'll just wait for to get back, I'm sure she'l be fine." I spoke up when no one else did. Meghan's face let us know she didn't like my suggestion.

"She's tuff, she knows what she's doing," Darry defended her. I hoped he was right.

"Yeah, like she knew what she was doing the other night. If you won't do it because your her parent now! What would you dad do?" Meghan went too far we all knew it, but she didn't seem to care.

"Listen here, Ms. Goodie too shoe, their parents told her to live a little, you don't know what the hell they would have said, so don't act like you do. She's doing exactly what they told her to, so back the hell off, Christ!" Dally yelled making the whole room get quiet. Meghan looked to Darry, and when he didn't speak she left. Darry didn't seem to care, he had the same look on his face he had before.

"They did what?" Darry turned to look at Dally.

"You heard me," was all he offered. "Don't read too much into it, she ain't broken, he didn't make her. She ain't a damn porcelain doll!" As if Dally's comment wasn't even when Two-bit spoke next it didn't really give anyone comfort like he hoped.

"I always knew she was a Curtis, I mean I always new she was your sister, but after today it became so damn clear to me that she was a Curtis, because she has been so tuff through all this shit, ya'll don't even know half of it." Two-bit told us. When we all gave him puzzled looks he continued to talk again. "You shouldn't underestimate her."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where are we going?" he followed me to his car.

"To drop off the obituary," I told him plainly. I was going to be emotionless through out this car ride. I was not about to let him win. I was going to make sure he knew I was okay, even if I wasn't.

"Where?" He asked me. It was a fair question, I would not have had any idea where to go before today any how.

"It's a couple miles from here," I answered looking out the window. I was regretting going anywhere with him. My mind sort of wandered and I wasn't sure how we even ended up outside of the office. I wasn't sure how I got out of the car. I wasn't sure how I got in the office, and I wasn't sure how I handed her the paper in my pocket.

"Miss, are you okay?" She asked me when I blinked trying to realize what was going on.

"Um, yeah," I said touching my eyes. I was lying, little did I know that lying was about to become a normal occurrence in my life.

"We'll make sure this is in the paper by morning," she didn't look like she really cared if I was okay or not. Why was I feeling so sick right now? I honestly felt like I was going to faint. Franki grabbed my arm and lead me outside.

"It'll get better from here," he told me playing with my hair. I always liked it when he did that.

"It can't really get worse can it?" I asked him. He laughed a little as we sat on a bench.

"It can, and it will for a while," he let go of me looking ahead at the road.

"Gee, thanks," I closed my eyes.

"I'm just trying to help. To tell you what it'll really be like," he put his hand on my back. My brain was telling me to shove his hand off my back bitch him out but my heart wanted him to keep it there. I looked at him for a second out of the corner of my eye as if seeing him would help me figure it out.

"I was 13 when my Mom died Mar, I know its not the same," he trailed off a little when he spoke. I knew his mom had died, and I knew he was younger when it happened but truthfully I had forgotten.

"You were the youngest," I wasn't really asking him I was more recalling.

"Yeah, it made tension in my family, not to mention with my dad. Even though I was young I still noticed it."

"Tension?"

"Yeah, arguing we were just all so upset everything changes, there's no way to live in the past, like things use to be. Take it from me, the sooner you accept that life as you know it has changed the better." The way he said that made my skin crawl.

"Life as we know it Franki, ended when I identified my mom's dead body. Then again when I singed for their death certificated, and again when the state came in trying to take us away, so I guess would could say we have all accepted that." I wanted to hurt him then when I was speaking. I wanted someone else to hurt because I was hurting. I wanted someone else to feel the pain I was feeling. He looked at me and nodded.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Mar I'm so sorry," he pulled me into a hug and I pulled back, but he tried again and I gave in.

"Don't tell me I'm right, just tell me what to do!" I pleaded. I was so scared about what was going to happen next. Darry said he'd take over, but does that mean he can? What does Darry know about parenting anyway?

"Tomorrow when this goes out in the paper you'll have a lot of people come over brining food and telling you how sorry they are, and how great your parents are. And you'll act all tough and fake smiles so hard your head hurts. It will actually be the worst day of your life. You're going to be exhausted, but you won't be able to sleep. Then you'll go to the funeral which will all just be a blur. You'll see people you don't know crying, you give more hugs, fake more smiles, and then you'll go home. After about a week people will stop coming over, ya'll go back to school, and life just moves on. It's hard, some days are harder than most, but life just happens." He draped his arm over my shoulder and lead me to the car. I cussed at myself for allowing myself to seem so weak. I tried to remind myself of how angry I was at him, and how horribly he treated me.

"I just want it to all be over," I sighed pulling it together a little bit pressing my fingers at the corner of my eye to prevent tears.

"I know," he opened the door for me. I felt myself falling for him again, I felt myself forgiving him, was that okay? There was just something magical about a boy being nice to you.

"I wish there was something I could say," he sighed. We were both just sighing up a storm.

We listened to the radio softly as we drove down the road, I didn't know about him, but I wasn't paying attention to it. Once we pulled into the drive way he got out at the same time as me, but I was leaned up against the car.

"It'll feel like home again one day," he read my mind. I looked at him surprised, and he gave me a weak smile.

"I hope," I told him as he handed me a smoke.

"Ya know, if there's anything I can do," I stopped when I opened my mouth.

"There's not anything you can do that'll make me forgive you for using me. Is that what this is about? Trying to clear you conscious?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted and I smirked at him. "Mary, I did care about you, I do care about you," he grabbed me hand. I instantly pulled away.

"Only when it's convenient for you," I took a few steps back. I wished I would feel power when I talked to him. I wish I felt good about myself for standing up to him, but truthfully, I did not. I felt heart ache, and I felt pain.

"I ain't perfect, I realize that," he argued.

"It's not even the sex I regret, its that the last conversation I had with either of my parents was me defending you. Me telling them I loved you, and how great you were. My last conversation with my parents was a lie, and that's not the way our relationship worked," I started to get emotional so I turned to leave dropping my cancer stick on the ground. I wanted to hear his car crank and him tear down the road, I wanted him to not care and to just move on. It would have been easier if he just left, but instead he stood in the driveway like a lost dog.

I walked into the house rather quickly so I wouldn't give in and turn back around. I saw Two-bit and Steve pulled back away from the windows. Two-bit spun around too fast and fell off the couch.

"Serves you right for spying on me," I told him as I went to get some aspirin out of the medicine cabinet.

"Look at him just standing there like a kid who just found out Santa wasn't real," Steve mocked him. I ignored his comment sticking my head under the sink to drink water.

"There's cups for that," Two-bit pointed out. I didn't respond to him either. Next thing I know Darry comes into the kitchen.

"Mary," Darry exclaims like he hasn't seen me in months.

"Hey, Dar," I didn't pay him much attention. "Where's Pony and Soda?"

"Pony's sleeping, Soda went for a drive with Sandy."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning I'm going to go finish these up," I pointed to the bulletin. I looked at each of their faces and I knew something was up. "What?" finally asked.

"I really wish you wouldn't go out with Franki, I was worried." I was confused by Darry's remark.

"Why?" I asked skeptically. He had a an uncomfortable look on his face like he knew something he didn't want to say.

"Damn it Dally," I turned round and glared at him.

"I didn't say a word to him!" Dally found this entertaining, that didn't surprise me.

"Then how did Two-bit know?" I hissed.

"He was there," Dally pointed at me.

"Where was Two-bit?" Soda walked in with Sandy.

"I've been a lot of places," Two-bit winked. I could have slapped him.

"Look, I appreciate you looking out for me, but that's not necessary." I tried not to sound made, but I was getting there.

"Mary, he took you to Bucks!" Darry acted like that place was a sin.

"Yeah, Darry, we'd been dating for 3 months, and it's not like you didn't go to Buck's when you were younger than me, and Mom and Dad knew!"

"Yeah, Darry you're one to talk," Dally started.

"Shut up Dallas," Darry scolded.

"She's fine no harm no foul," Two-bit pointed out.

"She was harmed!" Darry's voice raised. "Is that what you were calling me about that night?"

"Was she calling to tell you she slept with Franki, yeah right Darry," Steve laughed.

"Watch it Steve, this is my house now, I'll throw you out." Darry threatened surprising all of us.

"Darry come on," Soda tried to calm everyone down.

"Darry, I can handle my own relationships," I tried to lower my voice too.

"Or lack there of," Two-bit snickered. I shot him a look, but other wise turned back to Darry.

"I just think you should talk to me about it. He's not a good guy." For some reason I was getting frustrated at him comment, even though I knew it was true.

"Says who Darry!" He didn't speak right away he just looked at me.

"Meghan told me what ya'll did," he finally said when no one else spoke.

"And what did she tell you?" I didn't believe that she would do that.

"She said," Darry started before Sandy cut him off.

"She told them about Daniel, Mary they all know everything." I looked at them not even knowing what to say.

"That wasn't hers to tell, and it's not yours to judge!"

"She's my girlfriend Mary!" I thought about calling him out for being a horrible boy friend, but I didn't want to be immature.

"Yeah, Darry, and he was my boyfriend!" I knew it wasn't the same but I didn't care. "Mom and Dad both knew what we were doing, they told me to do it, they told me to no be so afraid all the time. So, you can't blame him" I surprised everyone.

"I'm telling you, it ain't a bad thing she finally slept with someone she was getting a reputation," Dally made a lame attempt of trying to defend me.

"Dally," I sighed hitting my head with my hand.

"Mary," Soda started.

"Darry," I interrupted "It can't be like this from now on," was all I said before leaving to go back to my room. I wanted to tell him he had no right to tell me who I should and should not hang out with, our that he's done worse things, but I couldn't shake the feeling I had. Because, I guess technically in a way he could. He was my guardian now. Everything was changing.

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Let me know what your thinking? Suggestion? You can be critical I can handle it.


	9. Chapter 9

"What's going on?" The kid came out of his room right after Mary left to go to hers.

"Hey Pony, nothing we were just talking about Franki," Soda smiled. I didn't think the kid needed to be lied to. They always babied him, treated him like he was 3 instead of 13. When I was 13 I had seen a lot and done a lot, I already knew how to survive.

"Ya'll sounded angry," Pony moved towards Soda.

"We're all just tired," Darry hardly even looked up. I didn't know how much of this I could even handle. I was well on my way to drinking the day away when Johnny came and got me. For a kid of few words he knew how to use them. So I sat on their couch with my leg bouncing up and down like it was on a damn pogo stick. What else was I suppose to do?

"Is Mary, okay?" Pony looked scared. Watching him react to the days events it did make me realize that he was young and he wasn't anything like me, and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

"Shoot kid, she's fine. You think a bad break up, or a stupid fight will bring down a Curtis? Not even a bunch of Soc's can bring down a Curtis," Two-bit could talk out of his ass all day. He was the worst to be beside in a cell.

"Her and Franki broke up?" Pony didn't have a clue.

"Nice going Two-bit," Steve grunted.

"They did Pony, but Mary's okay with it. She was just with him," Sandy had a little bit of a motherly smile that annoyed me for some reason.

"Shouldn't someone go talk to her?" Everyone was getting on my nerves.

"She may just need some time," Soda told him. Besides the kid, Soda probably looked the worst. It was most likely because he was always smiling. To see him not was a real fast reminder that something was wrong. Maybe if you didn't know him you wouldn't be able to tell. Steve's eyes were mad as fire. I knew he was like me and he wanted to punch someone. Two-bit looked like he had just seen a puppy get kicked. He had the droopy eyes, the sad long face, he wasn't all smiles today. Darry, you could never read Darry. When he first walked in the door you could tell he had cried. His eyes were puffy and red, but since then he mostly just looks scared. Which is the most unusual look of all. Can't say I blame the guy. Going from college football star to parent of three over night is enough to scare the hell out of anyone. Mary, well she was about as hard to read as Darry, because none of us even know her. She's never around, keeps to herself when she is. She hardly interacts with us at all. But, she looked normal, her make up wasn't smudged, her eyes weren't red, she looked fine. I was pretty sure that wasn't a good thing.

"You're not suppose to leave a room angry," Pony pointed out. That kid would be a damn good lawyer one day. He could argue with a fence post.

"You're also suppose to choose your feelings," Darry muttered. I had to smile when he said that. I remember Mrs. Curtis telling me that time and time again. She told me anger was a waste of an emotion, and when life was unfair you had to choose to not let it being you down.

"Maybe we should call it a night?" Johnny suggested when we were all just standing there looking at each other.

"Maybe that's not such a bad idea," Soda agreed. I wasn't about to go to sleep. I was about to go get wasted. If Two-bit or Steve didn't want to go I had no shame if meeting someone else. I wasn't one for making friends, but I was all about drinking buddies.

"I'm going to search for some action," I told them.

"Don't be stupid man," Steve warned. I thought about making a smart ass remark, but decided against it. I could control myself on a good day. I wasn't about to do anything that would cause the gang anymore grief.

"See ya'll tomorrow," Steve spoke up. "I'll drive you home, Sandy," he lightly punched Soda's arm. Soda gave greasers a bad name. He treated Sandy like she was royalty. That's just not how greasers are! The Curtis' were raised that way, that's why they blew a gasket on Franki, when I reality, Steve, Two-bit and I have all done much worse.

I walked to Buck's. I knew If I had really wanted I could have bummed a ride, but I probably needed to ride. My heart was racing even hours after Two-bit told me what happened. I knew that I could just take somebody out right now out of built up anger. I felt like a Volcano.

"Dallas, ain't it a little early for you to start?" Buck called to me as I pushed open his rotting door.

"You got no idea," I told him approaching the bar. I light a caner stick and waited for him to give me a drink. When he put it in front of me I drank it with out even setting it down.

"Damn Dallas, trouble with your new girl?" Buck look amused. Buck was a good guy, he helped me out when I was young, stupid, and new. But since then I've come a long way, and he always acts like I owe him something, when I don't. One then my dad taught me was to never take anything from anyone. Never be in debt.

"Drinking to forget tonight man," I motioned for him to give me an other one. Truthfully I hadn't thought about Sylvia at all today.

"Yeah, Dallas, and who are you tying so hard to forget?" He asked me, but I ignored him drinking quickly again. When I put the glass down this time my face hardened as I drank the last sip. When I swallowed it burned a little. It wasn't a smooth drink, but I liked that. It reminded me that I was alive.

"Alright, pace yourself, ain't no one worth forgetting that much so you barf on my floor," Buck didn't know what he was talking about. I ignored him at first, but I felt my fist balling, maybe the alcohol was kicking in, or maybe I was just itching for a fight. I slammed my glass down again.

"Watch it!" Buck was getting aggravated. Little did he know I was just getting started, and he was taking my bait.

"You causing problems already Winston?" I didn't see him, but I knew it was Shepard behind me. I turned and faced him.

"I don't usually go looking for it, usually it finds me, but tonight, I'm looking for it, you know any?" I knew I was desperate to be asking Tim.

"It's a Tuesday in Tulsa, what do you think is going down?" Tim was making fun of me, I heard Buck snickering too. That was just the little bit of an excuse I needed. I pulled back my arm and nailed him right in the nose.

"What the hell!" Tim hadn't see it coming and he almost ended up on the floor.

"Winston get the hell out of here man!" Buck shouted.

"Or what? You gonna make me Buck? Just give me a reason, all I need is a reason to fight right now!" Buck started to come around but TIm beat him to me and tacked me to the ground. We were wrestling on the ground throwing punches and cursing. We both got in a few good hits before we were both dragged by the shirts out of the bar. I stumbled down the steps sitting down leaning up against a car Tim was holding his nose a few feet away.

"What the hell was that about, huh?" Tim hissed at me. What I liked about Tim was that he could take it. He wouldn't complain like a little girl after, or he wouldn't be out for blood every time he saw me after.

"Fuck you," was all I could manage to say.

"Where's your boys right now anyway? Huh, could they not control you? Did you escape?" Tim was annoyed at me. It wasn't like we hadn't had meaningless fights before. Even though we'd beat the tar out of each other, I would consider Tim a buddy. But not right then, I didn't have any buddies just then.

"Probably watching their lives crumble before them," I muttered not even sure he heard me.

"What are you, a damn poet, spit it out for Christ's sake, cause I know you ain't this stupid!" Time egged me on. I gave him a glance before looking down. I couldn't even look Tim in the eye and tell him.

"Their parents died this morning," I reached over and took Tim's flask. He was so thrown off he didn't even see me take it. His face was a shocked like a halloween costume of a Ghost made out of a sheet with a hole cut for the mouth.

"No," he said in disbelief.

"I shit you not," I said with a hiccup.

"That's messed up." Tim sat there with a blank expression on his face. "Well shit," he said a few moments later. All I did was finish off his flask. That was some nasty what ever it was in there. "How?" He asked.

"Hit by a train." I answered easily.

"Well shit, what are the odds of that happening?" Tim asked, but I knew he wasn't asking me. He rolled on to his knees and lit a smoke handing it to me, "how are they?"

"As good as you can expect," I took his smoke but didn't stand up. I'm sure I looked stupid with blood coming out of my nose, cheek, and hand while sitting next to the guy who did it sharing a smoke, but I didn't have a need to get up.

"Darry's home?"

"Yeah, got here this morning. He's got custody. But apparently he'll have to go to court to show he's a good guardian when its all over." It made me mad the state had to approve of Darry. Why do they get to be on his case, when they don't give a damn about Johnny? Darry already is a better parent than most greasers. Mine included.

"Bull shit, the state doesn't give a damn about us, they don't got nothing to worry about." I wish I believed him. I stood up and started to walk away. "Where are you going?" He called after me, I just waved my hand I didn't say anything. He wasn't my damn babysitter.

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I could hear Soda and Pony talking through the wall, I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I had a pretty good idea.

I couldn't hear Mary, but her light was still on. I could see it under the door. I thought about going in, but I didn't know what to say. I simply walked back to my room instead. I looked at the phone sitting on my night stand. I glanced at the clock 9:15. I figured i better make the call.

As it rang I found my self hoping he wouldn't answer, then my dream could at least live on one more night. After three rings he answered. I could hear his family in the back ground.

"Coach, Darry Curtis, I hope I didn't call at a bad time."

"Darry, son, how are you," there was concern in his voice. Something you didn't hear from a coach much.

"They both died sir," I said through gritted teeth. I heard him cuss under his breath and was silent for a minute.

"I am so sorry," I knew it was a common nature to say you were sorry, but honestly it just made me mad to hear how sorry everyone was. Because no one was as sorry as we are, and them being sorry doesn't do any good.

"Well, coach, I'm sorry because this means your going to have to find an other offensive line man," I felt the knot in my guilt growing.

"Are you sure son? We'll hold your seat, maybe next season." I appreciated him saying that, but I knew this was the end of it.

"Maybe," I found myself saying even though I knew I was wishfully saying.

"Well listen, when you're ready to come back, you call me." He wasn't one for small talk, and neither was I.

"Okay," I found myself struggling to say.

"If there is ever anything I can do for you," he started, but I interrupted.

"You'll be my first call. Have a good season," I told him than hung up using all of my strength not to cry. Still, somethings are inevitable and the tears fell. I wasn't balling, but I sat on the floor leaned up against the bed. Mary walked in with out knocking. I looked at her shocked to see her come in here. I knew it was too late to dry my tears or act like it wasn't happening.

"Two people can play the ease dropping game," She told me walking in my room. I couldn't resist a little smile then. She sat on the bed above where I sat on the floor.

"I'm sorry," I forced out, but my voice cracked the way it did when you cried.

"Being upset about having to quit football or drop out of college doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't mean that you don't want to take care of us," she told me with out looking at me. I appreciated it, I didn't want her to look at me just then. "All it means is that your dissipated because you worked so hard for so long, it ain't fair it was just snatched from you like that." I tried to clear my throat to clear away the tears I started to feel as well, but I couldn't hide them. Mary slid down on the floor next to me and put her arm around me. I was too big for her to get all the way around me, but it felt food to have her beside me. Eventually I calmed down enough to get my head on her shoulder. She sat so still I would have thought she was asleep if her eyes weren't open.

"I promise I'm going to be a good guardian Mary, or I'll try to be," I was whispering, but I knew she heard me.

"I know you will too, and I'll help," her eyes hadn't moved from the place on the floor she was staring at.

"You already have, and I don't think I've said thanks," I remembered what Two-bit told me earlier.

"They're my family too," she told me as I moved up to the bed patting beside it for her to join me.

"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about Franki. Meghan made it sound like he raped you."

"I know he's a bad guy, but I did love him Dar, but he's in the past, and our family is moving forward so lets not talk about him, okay?" She told me and I pulled her into my chest.

I was in a deep sleep but I woke up to Mary shaking me, "That's Pony," she told me darting from the bed. I followed her, but I couldn't tell what that noise was. When I got to Pony's room Soda was standing at the foot of Pony's bed, and Mary was stroking his hair.

"What happened?" I asked squinting at the light.

"I think he had a nightmare," Soda looked just as confused as me.

"I'm sorry Pone, those are the worst." I watched Mary with him.

"What was it about bud," Soda looked like it had scared him to hear Pony screaming like that.

"I don't remember," I could tell even at my half conscious state that he was lying. It was about our parents, I was sure of it.

"Come on, let's get some water," Mary pulled him out of bed. Soda and I followed her out. Soda sat next to Pony on the couch as I leaned up against the wall not really sure what else to do. She handed it to him then sat on the coffee table across from them.

"I'm sorry I woke ya'll up," Pony apologized after drinking most of the glass.

"Don't worry about it," I sighed moving to sit in my dad's recliner. Pony watched me when I did it. I thought about getting up and sitting on the couch too, but at some point someone else would sit in my dad's chair, it seems ridiculous to simply not sit in it.

"You want to try going back to bed Pon?" Soda asked. Pony vigorously shook his head. It worried me how scared he still was.

"We'll sit out here with you for a while," Mary smiled and Soda nodded agreeing.

"Hey Pony, com'er," Pony hardly hesitated, he just walked over to me. I took both my hands and I placed them on his shoulders looking at him square in the eyes.

"I know this is really sad, and it's really scary to think about what it's going to be like from now own, but I want you to that I love you and I am not going anywhere. I will do anything I have to do to raise you the way mom and dad would have wanted," I thought I would have seen relief in his eyes when I said that, but he almost looked worse

"You can't quit Darry. You've worked too hard to quit, you have to go back." Pony begged. He literally was begging me. I looked to Soda and Mary who both were at a loss. I was going ot have to figure this one out on my own.

"I can always go back to college, but I will only ever get one shot with you three. Ya'll are my family." I pulled him into a hug. He pulled away.

"Darry, you'll resent us, you'll wish you went!" Pony was trying to get out of my grip, but I was much stronger than him.

"Ponyboy, I could never ever resent you!"

"Pony, he already called the coach, it's final. He's made up his mind." Mary spoke from the couch.

"No, call them back!" Pony started to panic. At this point Mary and Soda were both standing up.

"Pony I need you guys. You guys are the only family I have left, and I don't care what I have to do I never want to leave again. I can't be away form you kiddo, you are stuck with me." I held him tighter.

"You promise?" Pony cried into my shirt.

"I swear Pony." He cried for what seemed like forever. We moved back to the couch and eventually both Soda and Pony fell asleep on either side of me on the couch. Mary was hugging her knees to her chest in my dads chair watching. I felt myself nodding off. I leaned my head into the cushions on the couch behind me getting pretty comfortable, and I too fell asleep.

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I tried to convince myself that I liked coffee, I liked the smell of it, but I wasn't huge into the taste. I watched Two-bit walk over, I don't think I'd ever seen him this early before.

"Mornin sunshine," he greeted me.

"First time I've seen you up this early, well in forever," I smiled as he got closer.

"You have too, but usually when you see me coming to your house at this hour it is to sleep off a hang over," he was right and I laughed thinking about it.

"What made you think we'd be up?" I ran my finger over the rim of my cup.

"I had a feeling," was all he said sitting on the rail. He must have seen everyone through the window, he looked at me raising an eye brow.

I shrugged my shoulders closing my eyes briefly, I could have told Two-bit Pony had a nightmare, he would understand, but wouldn't really understand. So, I just stayed quiet.

"Why are you up?" I finally asked. I didn't mind quiet, but I knew Two-bit hated it.

"Why do you think?"He had a grin on his face that made me regret asking.

"You don't look hung, and you definitely not drunk, so beats me," I put my coffee cup down.

"Ain't you quite the detective," Two-bit smiled, but not for long.

"Dallas got hauled in." The second he said it I felt anger.

"What a coward," I said while letting out a breath. The way Two-bit looked at me you would think that I had insulted his mom.

"He ain't a coward, what a thing to say," Two-bit scrunched up his face.

"Yeah, its just a coincidence he won't be at the funeral." Dally could be a real sorry son of a gun. He never cared about anyone but himself.

"Did you really want him at the funeral though, think about it, maybe he's doing us a favor," Two-bit's serious face faded as his dirty minded self returned.

"Probably not," I agreed shaking my head like an old man would.

"How long you gonna sit out here?" I could feel him getting fidgety.

"Figured i'd let them get sleep while they could. Not like they'll get much for the next few days." I remembered what Franki said. How tough it would be.

"You don't need sleep?'' I didn't answer, I just kinda shrugged looking at the crack in the sidewalk.

"Did you sleep at all? You're in the same clothes as you were in yesterday." I hadn't even noticed.

I looked at him before I responded. "Sorry Two-bit, I've been a little busy." I tried not to sound sassy, but Two-bit was getting on my nerves.

"How is everyone, really?" Two-bit pulled out a flask. I realized then that I needed one of those.

"Darry told his coach last night he wouldn't be coming back." I didn't know why I told Two-bit, I guess I figured he'd find out at some point.

"Shit, I bet that was hard." He muttered a few other words. I felt a small smile at the corner of my mouth. "What about Pony?" I thought for a second with out speaking."He's worried." I finally spoke. It wasn't enough for Two-bit.

"What's he worried about, the funeral?" I wanted to smack Two-bit and ask him what isn't he afraid of? However, I didn't think that would be productive.

"He didn't want Darry to quit school, he's worried he'll regret it." I was going to make Two-bit work for his information.

"That kid, what the only alternative? He doesn't think Darry'd let him go to a boys home did he?"

"He's young and scared Two-bit, it doesn't have to make sense what he's thinking," I sighed lighting up a smoke. I was going to try not to smoke with early, but I couldn't help it.

"Well, what about Soda?" Two-bit finished off taking role. "He's so in love he can't see past the end of his nose," Two-bit giggled like a little school girl.

"I haven't talked to him much, I thought I'd see if he wanted to ride over with me to give the funeral home the bulletins." Two-bit reached in my pack and took out a cancer stick for him too.

"If you can pry him away from Sandy that long," Two-bit nudged me with his elbow.

"I guess," I shook my head again. It was quiet for an other long minuted and I wondered what he was stirring up.

"How are you Mar?" My least favorite question.

"I'm just peachy. Don't fuss over me." I swatted at his hand.

"Ya know Mar, I noticed how much you've stepped up with the state, the funeral, and everything your parents would really be proud," I could tell Two-bit was flirting with the idea of putting his hand on my shoulder, he decided against it, I was glad.

"I didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have done Two-bit," I meant it to. I did what I had to do.

"That ain't true, and you know it! You don't have to be so serious Mar, you can fall apart a little." At this point I honestly didn't know what he was talking about.

"I'm fine, there's just a lot going on." I hoped he would just drop it.

"Yeah, but there's a lot of us to help," he kept at it.

"Two-bit come on," I pleaded.

"Mary, you come on, I'm trying to be serious, and you know this is new territory here." He added that last part to try to joke, but I guess I wasn't in a joking mood.

"We'll don't Two-bit, just don't," I stood up and walked off the porch. I didn't wander very far, I really just walked so I could enjoy my cancer stick in peace. When I smoked it helped me feel like I was in the moment. It helped prevent me from thinking about everything else going on in the house. It didn't last long, I had to face the music. I walked back to the house surprised to see Two-bit where I left him, and the lights still off inside.

"Want breakfast?" I offered.

"I was really just coming to sleep, but since you offered," he grinned following me in the house. Darry was awake rubbing Pony's back, but Soda was asleep too. I smiled at him walking to the kitchen.

I scrambled some eggs, put some bacon in the skillet and poured some milk. I made a mental note to go by the store. The boys went through milk like it was oxygen.

"Rise and shine boys! You lazy bums I'm up before ya'll!" Two-bit yelled walking out of the bathroom.

"Why are you up?" Darry slightly smiled standing up when Pony and Soda sat up.

"We slept here all night?" Soda rubbed his eyes.

"Darry, you snore," Pony stood up.

"Yeah, sure, little buddy," Darry gave him a love tap as he went to the table.

"You not eating Mar?" Pony asked.

"I gotta shower and head over to the funeral home, bud," I told him over my shoulder.

"Eat first, don't get sick," I kinda felt like Darry said that because he felt like he had to.

"I already did," I ignored their request.

"Coffee doesn't count," Two-bit chimed in. I reached over and took the toast out of his hand and walked to the bathroom. I heard them chuckling as I got in the shower. I turned on the water, and the cold water stung my skin. Usually I would shiver away from the cold, but today I liked it. It helped me feel alive. Once I felt like I had shivered enough I got out to get dressed. My heart was racing, and I didn't really know why. It had been this way since the accident. I felt like it was almost fluttering. The way it would when Franki would whisper in my ear, or surprise me at work. The mix between being startled and curious. But, I wasn't excited, or curious, so I was unsure of what was going on. I walked out of the bathroom like I had millions of times with a towel around my head.

"Soda," I called his name, he turned and looked at me with a mouth full of eggs.

"Want to come with me to the funeral home?" He looked like he was surprised I asked him. It made me realize I needed to include him more.

"Yeah," he smiled standing up to go get ready. I went to the sink to do the dishes while I waited.

"I got it," Darry gently pushed me out of the way.

"Nah, you got a lot to do today." That was my way of reminding him not to drop the ball. He looked at me, and I couldn't read his eyes. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was even harder to read than Pony. He gave him though.

"I can do it," Pony offered. I couldn't help but smile at him. Darry's eyes softened too, "Thanks little buddy," Darry ruffled his hair disappearing to bathroom.

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How's it going? You like it okay?


	10. Chapter 10

I followed Mary out to the car, she opened the passenger door to get in, normally I would be glad. I pretty much drove everywhere since I turned 16, but I didn't want to anymore. She glanced at my hesitation, but caught on and moved to the drivers side. That's what I liked about Mary, you didn't have to spell things out. She kept her mouth shut, and we'd probably never talk about why I didn't want to drive, she'd also never tell anyone. I guess that sometimes was a bad thing too, because she never really let anyone were driving in complete silence until she was the first to speak. Mary was kinda like Johnny. She didn't talk much, but when she did you'd never forget.

"I'm not going to ask you if you're alright because, you're not, none of us are, but I do want you to know that you don't have to pretend you are for Pony. If you ever need to escape we can come up with a code or something," she winked at me. I smiled and looked out the window. I knew I was kinda like Two-bit and a lot of times I was expected to have an easy going, funny, full of life personality, and I knew Mary was giving me permission to avoid that burden, but truthfully it helped me heal too.

"What kinda key word?" I turned and looked at her, my mind was wandering to possibilities.

"What ever you want," she smiled keeping her eyes on the road. Damn, did she look like mom. Her hair was covering half her face, the way the blond locks just flapping in the wind. Hey eye's weren't like my mom's or my dads. Darry kinda had eyes like Dad, but Mom's were more brown. Who knew where Mary got her's from. She noticed me looking at her, but she didn't say anything. When we parked the car I expected her to lecture me, tell me this was going to be hard, or to stay in the car, but she just handed me the keys. I nodded and it was like we had had a whole conversation just in her one gesture.

"Mary, good morning," the old man Mary told us about last night came over.

"Morning sir, this is my brother, Soda. He's got a better eye than me, I figured you could run tomorrow by him so there aren't any surprises?" Mary shook his hand.

"Ah, of course, you're in luck too, because the pastor is here, I am sure he would love to get to know a little about Soda." The older guy squeezed Mary's arm. Mary wasn't really one who liked to show affection. She hated it when people would cling on her. She didn't show it though, she had what looked like a real smile on her face. "Soda, why don't I take you to the pastor while Mary and I finish up a few minor things," he stepped in between mine and Mary's view so I couldn't see her. I didn't want to go back to talk to the pastor, especially not alone. I was feeling kind of panicked, that was unusual for me. I wasn't afraid to be with a stranger. In fact, I loved talking to people, why did this make me uncomfortable.

"Honestly, I trust you more than I trust myself, what ever you want to change change. I won't be upset. We'll go talk to the pastor, then after we will be out of your hair until," Mary was interrupted.

"Tomorrow at 11:30," he finished for her. He did look real nice, I guess old people kind of scare me.

"Did you figure out what you wanted to do about the flowers?" Marry faced turned a little red like she was flustered.

"The number we talked about just won't work. I have a friend who I think can help. I'll bring the artificial ones in the morning before everyone gets here."

"No problem, we only really need them for the headstones, and on top of the caskets, everything else is just extra," he squeezed her arm again before Mary started walking ahead, she didn't reach for my arm or pat my back acknowledging that I was scared. She didn't slow down for me to catch up, or make small talk to make me feel better she just powered through. When we got outside the Pastor's door she didn't even take a breath or look at me. It's not that Mary babied us, truthfully I was seldomely around Mary outside of the house, and even then she was always helping my mom with something. She was always so busy, and so closed mouth. That drove my dad crazy at times. I just expected her to show a little more compassion.

"Mary, what a pleasure, come in!" He welcomed us. "Let me guess, Soda?" He stuck out his hand to shake mine. I smiled impressed. He gave me a firm handshake. My dad said you could tell a lot about a man from his handshake, I wished my dad could tell me what his meant. He then patted me on the back motioning for me to sit down. "She did a good job describing you, let me tell you!" He was beaming. If I didn't pay attention I could forget he was a pastor. I felt myself relaxing.

"Yeah, and what did she say?" I knew she wouldn't say anything bad, but I was curious to what degree she talked me up.

"Let me see, you're not the ball player, however, you know your way around a car, both inside and out," he winked at me making me blush. "My words not hers," he added making me feel a little better. "You don't know any strangers, easy to get along with, full of life, and are a kind soul, again I may had ad-libbed a bit. You are dating a beautiful lady whose name is Sandy who will be on your arm tomorrow for sure. She's the yin to your yang. Ah, let me see what I am forgetting, your greatest challenge for the next phase of your life will be the balance between your family and your own life." I wondered what all Mary said, and what all he ad-libbed.

"Not bad," I spoke up.

"I make a point to get to know the family. I like to hear about each of ya'lls interpretations of life and of death. That way when I speak tomorrow I can be as personal as possible," he went back and sat at his desk, but he leaned over the desk in a way that still made us seem more as equals than him condemning us to hell. "Mary and I spent a while the other day telling stories and good times, why don't you join in. It'll be nice to pick your brain too."

"What can it hurt?" I shrugged sitting up a little in my chair.

"Actually, it may even help," he winked like he did earlier.

"What'd ya'll talk about yesterday?"

"Let me see, we left off at your dad's job. He hated it, but he never said he hated it, that says a lot about his character." I didn't realize dad hated his job?

"What else? We talked about how both your parents' parents' died young. We talked about how it was a shame the tradition continued. Both only children, determined to make sure they had as many kids as they could finically afford, isn't that how you put it Mary?" He looked over at her. She nodded. "Your mom lived for you kids, but not just her own, but all the gang. She cared for everyone like they were her own, even when they bought their problems into your home. Even when they were angry and mean, she still loved them, the same way she loved all of you. That's special." He acted like I didn't already know that.

"Tell me about your relationship with your dad," he asked after it was hardly quiet for a second. I felt my eyes water thinking about him in the past tense. I could feel the pastor giving me a sympathetic look. I refused to look at him at first, but feeling uncomfortable, I looked up and it wasn't that he was looking at my sympathetically, it was more interested. It was like he was excited to talk to us.

"I've got three kids, one thats 18, one thats 15, and one thats 6. She was our surprise gift from God. What a blessing she is," he continued to smile. I couldn't help but wonder how old he was. He looked my dad's age. Well, my dad didn't look like he was 43, he didn't look a day over 25, but this guy, he looked like he could be 40.

"Dad and I had a good relationship I guess. I guess we argued more than we should about school and work. My parents were always on the same side, there was never any point in trying to get one of them on your side. Dad would say things like, "don't upset your mother," or "don't lie to your mother." I never really understood why he did that. It made it feel like it was okay to upset and lie to him, but not mom. I wish I would have asked him," I started biting my nails.

"They had a good marriage. In Tulsa everyone's parents are split, dead, cheating, or drunks. They were each others' soulmate. I think that's why dad didn't pull through the surgery, he couldn't live without mom," Mary was leaned back in her chair like we were talking about the weather.

"It's a blessing ya'll grew up in that environment, you know how relationships should be," he moved his chair in the middle of Mary so I couldn't see her around him. I was starting to get nervous.

After along pause he spoke up again, "How's Darry doing? I'd be happy to talk to him, or all of you for that matter to get you through this tough time."

"He's okay." I didn't know what else to say. What was even the right answer to that?

"We'll all be fine, but we'll keep that in mind." Mary sounded so relaxed. It made me think I needed to relax too.

"We'll let's just get down to business then, for tomorrow I was thinking it would be best to stay traditional, no surprises . Opening hymn All things are bright and beautiful, and read the scripture psalm 23 The Lord is my Shepard, I'll talk about what you have told me about your family, then I will open the floor for anyone to speak,"I felt my face fall when he said that. I hadn't even been to a funeral before. I never knew my Grandparents, and no one else I knew had died. I wouldn't know what to say.

"I would recommend asking family friends to share stories and memories. Its better to ask them ahead of time. It would be nice if one, or all of you spoke as well." Luckily Mary spoke up before I had to.

"I can do that."

"Good, then after we'll go to the graveyard where I'll pray and then we'll close with Amazing Grace. Mr. Henry said the reception was at your house after?" He turned from me to Mary.

"That's right," she confirmed. This was news to me.

"That'll be lovely, you have someone lined up to help you I'm sure," he put down his note pad and stood up. Mary nodded her head and also stood up, so I stood up not knowing what else to do.

"Do either of you have any question for me?" Both of us shook out head so he smiled then stuck out his hand again. "Alright, we'll you know how to reach me if I can help at all," he patted me on the back as we walked out.

We didn't hardly get out of ear shot before I couldn't help but ask questions.

"Who are you going to get to tell stories tomorrow?" She was walking kind of fast, it was hard to keep up.

"I don't know yet," she told me with out slowing down.

"What about the reception at out house?"

"I don't know," she said the same as before.

"Do you have to make food?"

"I'll probably make snacks," she slowed down only when we got to the car.

"What kind of snacks?" I don't know why I asked, I just did.

"I don't know," She said for the third time getting in the truck.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," she smiled backing out. It was dead silent on the way home. Not even the radio was turned on. It didn't bother me though. I kinda knew what it must feel like to be Pony. To be lost in your own thoughts. "You okay?" She asked when we got into the driveway. My head had just been spinning the whole time we were there. It made me realize how much was going on and how little involved I was or wanted to be.

"I uhm," I tried to think of things to say. I could feel my eyes watered.

"Yeah, it's a lot, but it'll get better, I promise." Mary didn't look at me, I appreciated it because I was about to cry.

"It'll never be the same," my voice didn't crack, but I felt like it might.

"You're right, it wont, but we'll just have to do the best with what we have." I glanced over to Mary and she was stone faced. When she saw I wasn't she pulled me into a hug. The gesture made it harder for me to pull it together. She let go of me and then walked toward the house. I followed behind her.

"How'd it go?" Darry asked as we walked in.

"Mary wasn't kidding, a lot goes into a funeral, there's still so much to do," I sat on a chair at the kitchen table. I felt like I had run a marathon.

"How'd everything go with you?" Mary asked him adding water to the coffee pot.

"I went by the bank, I talked to some people, it went good." Mary nodded when he said that.

"Where's Pony?" She asked.

"He's sleeping. He wasn't too happy I made him go to the bank and to the construction site," Darry shrugged. "I just didn't want him to be here alone."

"Where are all of the guys?" I asked thinking it was weird they weren't here.

"It's a school day, Soda," Darry reminded me and I felt stupid.

"They should be here soon." Mary glanced to our grandfather clock. Before looking in the fridge and cabinets writing what we needed on a piece of paper.

"How's Pony doing?" I asked glad he was sleeping a little. It scared me last night to hear him shout like that.

"We didn't really talk much, he didn't really eat much," Darry shrugged.

"He's probably still processing it all," Mary said sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee. She didn't look like she liked how it tasted.

"I guess. I wish I knew what to do." There was a second it looked like Darry was scared. I'm not saying I blamed him, I definitely was, but there were only a few times I remember seeing him scared.

"Maybe take him to the track or to play football or something? Make him tired, maybe he'll sleep better tonight. Especially if he's sleeping now, he'll need it for tomorrow," Mary suggested. Darry's eyes softened and I could tell he liked this idea.

"I"ll ask the guys to come too, it'll be fun." I added.

"Yeah, okay," Darry agreed. "What are you going to do?"

"I need to go talk to Mrs. Mathews about flowers, and then try to find someone to talk tomorrow, and I need to go by the grocery store. The reception's going to be here after the funeral," Mary leaned her head against the counter behind her.

"Here, why here?" Darry asked sounding concerned.

"It's cheaper," Mary said frankly.

"Oh, okay." That sounded like a good answer to Darry.

"Hopefully it'll be quick," Mary smiled through a sigh. She titled up her cup finishing it off getting off the counter. Darry and Mary looked at each other for a second, before Mary finally spoke.

"We can have a family meeting tonight and walk through it, that way there aren't any surprises," Mary looked over at Darry. Neither of them looked comfortable, I wondered if they were still upset with each other over Franki.

"Hey Mar," Darry grabbed her arm before she turned to leave.

"Don't work too hard," he paused for a second before pulling her bangs behind her ear.

"I'm fine," she gave him a genuine pat on the hand before walking out the door. "Don't let him sleep too long okay, hopefully he'll sleep better tonight," Mary picked up the keys and walked out. I didn't blame Pony for wanting to sleep, I was so tired. Darry must have noticed because he looked at me before speaking.

"It was tough, huh?"

"It's just hard to take it all in, not for Mary though," I put my head down on the arm of the couch.

"She's something," Darry added sitting beside me.

"Now what?" I asked him.

"I don't know, Meghan's coming over," he shrugged rubbing his eyes.

"Oh!" I raised my eye brow.

"No, Soda, I've got more important things now, more important people." He said it so emotionless. How could he have changed that fast? He would have jumped at the opportunity to be with Meghan. He was always talking them up!

"Oh please, don't use us as an excuse!" I nudged his arm. I hardly even got a smile out of him.

"I'm serious Pepsi, things are different now," he didn't look at me when he said that. It was like he didn't want to believe it either. I didn't want to press it, so I let it go.

A/N. Kinda of a dull chapter I know. I'm just as ready to heat it back up as you are, but I had to get some details in there. What are you thinking?


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